The Cost of Pride
by megatoxic
Summary: Fallen finds herself in Thedas and is completely unprepared. Sure, she knows the story and she's played the game, but this is no game. This is life and death. Can The Dread Wolf help her or will he be her biggest enemy?
1. Well Life Was Boring

**The Cost of Pride**

Megatoxic

* _*Disclaimer: I do not own any Bioware/DA characters. I am simply an avid fan with a day dream about her favorite RPG game.*_ *

 **Chapter 1: _Well Life Was Boring…_**

My life was pretty boring to be perfectly honest. At age 26, not much has ever really happened to me that was excitingly positive. I had managed to scrape up an online degree in Behavioral Science that I never really used, and I had long forgotten my passion for music. I was currently working in public health and trying to manage what little life that I had outside of work. My name is Fallen Faith Silcox … I know strange right? I was told that my mother loved the name Fallen upon hearing it one time in a gift shop and thus she swore that if she had a daughter her name would be Fallen.

I have always been relatively short (5 feet 3 inches) to be exact and from what I can remember I have been this short since the 5thgrade. As I was getting myself together for work the morning that my oh-so-boring life changed, I was really wishing that I could be less … well plain. I have curly hair, not like cork screw curly, but definitely curly and frizzy enough that product is needed to tame it. The color has always been lack luster in my opinion with a brown that has a reddish tint in the sun or bright light. A light dusting of freckles covers the bridge of my nose and shoulders where other people would have tanned by now, and my eyes are a very uninteresting shade of brown. Sometimes, on a "pretty day," a few speckles of green appear in them. So yeah, I'm definitely pretty average looking. Not really fat, but not necessarily thin either. I suppose "thick" would be the modern term for my figure.

I sighed heavily and spread the curl product in my hair all the way to the ends that rested on my freckled shoulders. Glancing my phone I noticed the time was 6:50 A.M. Definitely time that I get my stuff together and head out the door for work. I glanced at the floor length mirror just to access myself and I was as satisfied as I ever could be with my appearance. I was seeing patients today so I had slipped on a knee length red sundress and a pair of plain black sandals. I made my way through my tiny one bedroom apartment to grab my purse off the couch and pack a quick lunch. Before making my way into the kitchen, I made sure to turn my Xbox One console off which was on the main screen of Dragon Age Inquisition. I had spent way too much time on that game the past 3 years, but to me it was stress-reliever and an amazing escape from my boring life.

Lunch bagged to go and purse on shoulder, I climbed into my little reliable, affordable, and very compact car to head to work. On average, most mornings it takes me about 35-40 minutes to make it into the office. Today, I was assuming would be no different. The benefits of living in a very rural area in the state of Tennessee include a very beautiful drive to and from work every day. I love to open my sunroof, blast my music, and loose myself in the journey. This can be especially glorious after a stress filled day on the way back to my tiny apartment and boring life.

On this particular morning, for whatever reason, I decided that I would stop at a gas station around the half way point to the office that I was traveling too. Oh wait, I know why I decided to stop, because silly me decided that I was craving some coffee. The gas station was very non-descript and country looking. I had never stopped here before, but had of course seen it coming and going from work. The sign outside located by the pumps stated that they had fresh coffee 24/7. I pulled up to a pump since the parking lot was so small and there were no other cars present. It was now roughly 7:15 A.M. and I needed an extra kick. I pulled my keys from the ignition and grabbed my wallet out of my purse since I didn't feel the need to lug the whole thing into the gas station.

As I was walking into the station, I heard another vehicle pull in behind me, but I paid it no mind and continued on inside. To my relief, I quickly noticed the location of the coffee and promptly headed in that direction. I slipped my car keys into the pocket on the right side of my dress and my wallet into the left pocket. The doorbell dinged behind me as another customer entered, but it only vaguely registered in my mind as zoned in as I was to get my cup of coffee. So you can absolutely imagine my surprise when I felt a firm arm wrap around my waist from behind and something cold press to my forehead that felt distinctly metal. A rough voice whispered in my ear, "It would be wise to do as I say."

My heart felt like a hummingbird in my chest and I immediately started to shake and sweat. I knew little to nothing on self-defense and even less about such hostile situations in general. As the man turned me around towards the door, I noticed that there was no one at the register in the store and ironically it appeared that no one was around to witness what was happening to me in that moment. I attempted to turn my face to see my captor's face, but I was unable to move my neck far and up enough to see his face at my height and with his vice-like grip. I was quickly shoved out the door and towards a black van that was parked at the pump next to my car. The man threw the door open in the back with every intention in the moment I'm quite sure of throwing me in the back and doing unspeakable things to me. Luckily for me, as the man was throwing the door open, he dropped the gun in his hand and the grip around my waist loosened.

I didn't need to be told twice for every cell in body to recognize my moment to flee. I kicked back with my right foot into his shin and I took off running. In hind-sight, I certainly could have gotten into my car and drove off, but in that terrified and crazy second I was simply focused on putting as much distance as possible between myself and the man that wanted to hurt me. I pushed my legs to move me as fast as possible into the field across the street. I could see a house maybe half a mile across the field and I honed in on it and pushed my body further. I could hear cursing and yelling behind me before I heard the sound of a gunshot. Instinctively, I dropped my knees, but not before I felt a searing hot pain in my right shoulder blade. I cried out as I my knees and left hand hit the grass and dirt. My right hand I clamped to my chest as if it would take away the pain now radiating from within my shoulder down my arm.

I could hear the pounding of feet behind me and I knew that the man was gaining on my. I looked up towards the house across the way one more time and a purple tear seemed to appear in front of me out of nowhere. It was bright and shaky and was quickly expanding into a large opening of some sort. I could vaguely make out what appeared to be someone sort of concrete or stone structure on the other side of it. I made a split second decision that to this day I still don't understand. The opening was maybe 5 feet from me. I forced my legs up and ran into the opening. As I passed into the purple light, I felt gloved finger tips graze my back.

There was a cold and quick suctioning feeling that caressed my body and then I was aware of hitting cold stone and dirt. I braced myself with my good left arm and was dismayed as I felt and heard it crack and break at the wrist. My forehead collided with the broken stone under me as my wrist gave way. I heard yelling and the sound of clanking metal. I managed to lift my head up to see myself surround by what appeared to be armored figures, but by this point my vision was severely blurry. I heard a voice that sounded distinctly British speak out with shock, "Where did she fall from?"

Then my tired body decided to betray me. I felt darkness starting to descend and take me away from the pain. I was somewhat aware of cold metal on my legs and face as I was lifted up into someone's arms, and then I simply quit fighting the descent into darkness and the beginnings of the transition that would lead me out of my boring life.


	2. Sure, This Must Be Real

**The Cost of Pride**

Megatoxic

* _*Disclaimer: I do not own any Bioware/DA characters. I am simply an avid fan with a day dream about her favorite RPG game.*_ *

 **Chapter 2: _Sure, This Must Be Real…_**

When I started to resurface from the darkness, I felt like something was weighing me down. An unexplainable force seemed to be pressing down on my head and my eyes simply would not open. So I allowed myself to stay in the darkness. I figured that this was safer than dealing with my injuries and whatever was waiting for me outside the darkness. Eventually, I was able to start hearing movement around me and a voice that was familiar from somewhere. I felt cool hands on my forehead that moved to my right shoulder and then down to my injured wrist. Where the hands traveled there seemed to be a static-like feeling that had goosebumps raise up on my flesh.

Then I started to understand the words that the familiar voice was saying to me. It was a masculine voice and it seemed to be trying to encourage me to wake up. "You can wake whenever you are ready…" and "I am mending your injuries there will not even be a scar…" Where did I know this man's voice from? It had a definite Welsh infliction to it and an almost nasally quality, but not in a way where someone would be extremely annoyed by the fact.

Finally, I was able to open my eyes. Everything was incredibly blurry at first and I could not focus on anything in particular. I was aware that I was lying on a very stiff and scratchy surface and there was a slightly moldy smell surrounding me like an aged book that had gotten wet at some point and been placed back on the shelf. My eyesight started to clear up and I was able to focus on a light on the wall to my right. I was surprised to see that it was a torch placed in what appeared to be some sort of bracket or holder of sorts on a stone wall. _Really, who has torches in their home?_ That was all I could think as I allowed my eyes to roam the room that I was in.

I could see that it was a small room and that there was a torch blazing on the opposite wall as well. There was a big wooden door directly in front of my bed with bars placed where the glass or window would be, and I was also able to assess that I was lying on essentially a wooden board with straw thrown across the top of it. I was trying to process all this information and the only conclusion that made any sense to me was that I was in a dungeon. Now, how I got there was completely unknown to me, but I had seen enough medieval themed movies and games to be unable to get the idea that I was in a dungeon out of my head. I pulled myself up on my elbows and I was pleased that there was no pain in the shoulder or wrist. _Wait how could that be?_ That thought had barely focused in my mind when the door to my room opened wide admitting a small woman in who was followed by two other women that I would never have imagined seeing in real life.

The small woman who had first entered had flame colored hair that was thrown over one shoulder in a long braid that traveled down to her waist. She had two bright green eyes that were intent on my face. These were lovely features that in themselves were not unusual. No, what threw me off was Mythal's black vallaslin that graced her checks and her ears which were definitely tapered and pointed into tips at the end. I know that my mouth had to be hanging open, but when I looked at the two other women behind her I thought I was going to faint. The seeker Cassandra Pentaghast and the spymaster Leliana were now standing on either side of the door they had entered. Leliana turned gracefully and closed the door behind her.

The small elven woman wasted no time in jumping right in, "Who are you" she asked in a very feminine but determined voice. I took a split second to appreciate the Dalish accent that accompanied her words. "My name is Fallen," I answered automatically. Leliana chose that moment to step in, "Fallen? That is all? What is your surname?" Her voice had the same deceivingly delicate French/Orlesian lilt to it that accompanied the game Leliana. She was also smaller framed than I expected and didn't look like she would be much taller than me if I were to stand directly beside her. "Fallen Faith Silcox is my full name," I replied in a shaky voice.

"Silcox you say? I have heard of no such family name in my meetings amongst the nobles," a rougher Nevarran voice chimed in. I turned my attention to the Seeker and kept my eyes locked on her coal lined ones, "That would be because I am definitely not a noble." "Nor would it seem you are from around here as your accent is such that I have never heard before," Leliana input with a tone that suggested I not attempt to lie to her over the matter. This was definitely not the first time in my life that I hated my southern accent, "I would guess that I am a long way from home then. I was being attacked by man when a window of sorts opened up in front of me and I had no choice but to go through it." "Where are you from?" the small elven woman asked and for the first time I glanced at her hands. Her right hand was clearly glowing a brilliant green through what appeared dirty bandages wrapped around it. This was the Herald of Andraste.

I had to think quickly and smartly about my situation. I seriously doubted that if I tried to explain where I really came from that they would actually believe me. I wouldn't have in their position. "Ferelden, I am from Ferelden. South Reach to be exact. My mother was a serving girl in Denerim when she found out that she was expecting me and she moved away to South Reach to have and raise me. It was just me and her. I never knew my father," flowed out of my mouth very quickly and I knew I would have to keep track of everything that I told them for later down the road… you know if I made it to later. The Herald moved closer to where I was laying with a sympathetic look in her eyes, "I am sorry that it was like that. I can only imagine. My name is Ellana Lavellan and these two women behind me are the Seeker Cassandra Pentaghast and the spymaster Leliana." Ellana had pointed to each of the women individually as she addressed who they were. "I am sorry to have kept you in this conditions, but you must understand our hesitancy. You arrived by some unknown magic and posses magic yourself. These are trying times and we have to be wary of unknowns," her words were kind and I understood them enough. Cassandra and Leliana were both looking at me as if that still wanted to light me on fire.

The words that stuck out to me the most though were concerning me having magic, "I am a mage?" All three women looked at my with confused expressions. "Yes you are. Have you not known that you were for sometime now? You appear old enough that your magic should have made itself known by now," Cassandra directed at me while looking at me as if she didn't believe me in the slightest. "I was not a mage before I came here. I swear it," I proclaimed firmly now sitting up on the edge of my cot. Leliana took a step towards me and tilted her head before stating, "Now that I believe. Know this, we will keep an eye on you. You will never be out of sight of a member of the inquisition for even a second. I will be sending scouts out to see if we can find anything on your background. Our Herald still has a lot of work to do. She has managed to stabilize the breach in the sky, but there is still much work to be done. We will make sure that you also get training for your magic as well." Leliana turned her gaze to Cassandra, "We will have to keep an eye on her for her safety as well. You know that the tensions about mages are high right now especially apostates which she surely is at this point. Also, you should probably go ahead and alert Cullen about her. You know how he overreacts to these kinds of things."

Leliana appeared to have more control that I had assumed through my play throughs of the game. I had always assumed her to be a background figure. The spymaster who worked solely from the shadows, but from the authority in her voice as she spoke to Cassandra I got the distinct impression that this was a little different when in the real situation. Well, if you could call all this a "real" situation. Ellana chose that moment to speak up, "If that is what is going on then we need to get her cleaned up and figure out who she will be staying with for now." Cassandra nodded her head in agreement, "I agree. For now, I wonder if it would be best if she stayed with another mage especially since she has claims to having no experience with magic. Mages are very vulnerable to possession in their sleep." Ellana tapped a finger to the side of her head, "I think I know an old man who could help with that."

At those word, I felt my heart nearly fall out onto the ground beneath me. There is only one person that Ellana could possibly be talking about and I didn't feel ready to face him at all. The Dread Wolf is called such for a reason. I had played the game all the way through and as I looked into Ellana's kind eyes I felt sympathy for her. _Would Solas talk her hand? Would he break her heart like he had broken my Lavellan's?_ Ellana must have read something on my face, "Don't be afraid Fallen. Solas is a very wise and powerful mage. He is also kind and an excellent healer. He took care of all the wounds you suffered before arriving and watched over you. I am sure he would not mind at all with assisting you." I felt a blush spread across my checks, "Would he not feel uncomfortable sharing his space with a woman he doesn't know and won't people talk?"

I heard Leliana clear her throat very pointedly, "I am sure they will; however, you are both apostates here on the mercy of the inquisition and with our protection. I am sure that the two of you can see the wisest course of action would be to do as we suggest.You do not have the luxury of caring what propriety should look or be like." Her tone was very determined and left no room for argument. Cassandra was nodding her head in agreement, but did offer a small morsel of assistance, "Please do let us know though if he tries anything inappropriate. We must do what is necessary for safety purposes, but if you feel he abuses his position please speak up." All three women were looking at me very calmly and it occured to me that they were waiting for me to speak. I turned my attention to the one who had been the nicest to me so far, "Of course Herald, I will do as you and your companions see fit."

Just like that, Cassandra was handing me a dark black cloak that a soldier outside the room provided her and I slipped it on over my tattered red sundress. Cassandra nodded at me in approval as I tied it up. "I will take you to the bath house to get cleaned up and into some fresh clothes." All I could do was respond politely with a "thank you," and put my life and wellbeing into their hands for now. As, I followed behind her, Ellana and Leliana both disappeared into the Chantry. When Cassandra and I stepped outside of the Chantry doors into the freezing cold my eyes instantly latched onto the breach in the sky. All I could think in that moment was "sure, this must be real…"


	3. She is Different

**The Cost of Pride**

Megatoxic

* _*Disclaimer: I do not own any Bioware/DA characters. I am simply an avid fan with a day dream about her favorite RPG game.*_ *

 **Chapter 3: _She is Different…_**

I was glad to finally be back in my own space and to peace and relative calmness. There was a time in my life, centuries ago, when I reveled in the madness, and now all I could feel was a desire for this to simply be over. I had tended to the half-blooded woman for three grueling days after she had dropped out of the portal. I was not there to witness her fall from the portal, but from what I had heard it had been an interesting experience for both her and those who saw her fall. I had never heard or seen of such in my long life. The closest thing that I could even compare it to would be an eluvian, but that was clearly not the case here.

My little cabin did not have much in it when the Inquisition provided it to me, but I was simply thankful that this was the route that they chose instead of trying to fling me into a dungeon cell as they had done with the woman. I was happy to be able to have some time to myself. Upon arriving, I had surrendered myself over to the guards. Of course they had been astounded that I had simply handed over my staff and submitted to them, but it had the desired effect. After that, I spent days taking care of the Dalish infant that now bore the mark of my power. I had been afraid that she would die before I could find a way to get it back, but luckily she had lived. The breach was not closed; however, it was stable for now buying me more time.

I ran my hand over my bald scalp allowing magic to flow through my fingertips and remove any stubble that might be forming. I did this at least two to three times a day. It was much easier than having my hair grown out and it gave me an older look that got me a little more respect. A smirk formed on my lips as I thought of the way those around me saw me. A simple, older, elven apostate who couldn't possibly understand the ways of the world… oh if they only had half a clue as to who I really was they wouldn't know what to do with themselves. They probably wouldn't believe me that's for sure. That seemed to be the number one problem with recruiting new agents. I had to convince them that I really was Fen'harel, The Dread Wolf. A show of my power was almost always needed now-and-days. Once upon a time, I would never have been questioned in such a way.

I was standing next to the fireplace in my small cabin checking the stew that I had scrounged together when I heard a hurried knock on my door. When I opened the door, I was surprised to see one of Leliana's scouts at my door or at least as far as the spymaster thought he was her man. In reality, he was an agent of mine. He was just a normal city elf from Kirkwall who had fled after the incident at the Chantry. His name was Kalen and he stated in a clear voice for everyone around to hear, "Ser Solas, I have a message of utmost importance to you from Sister Leliana and The Seeker Cassandra." "Well do come in," I replied smoothly as I stepped aside to allow him to enter my cabin.

Once the door was closed, he turned to me with his wide brown eyes and smiled, "Well this has been an interesting experience in Haven so far." "That it has dalen. Do you really have news for me from Leliana or have other agents found anything?" I asked hurriedly. I was beyond ready to find my orb and fix this whole debacle. "No my lord, there has been nothing new so far, but Leliana did send me to give you a message. It appears that the half-breed is a mage and was unware. The spymaster believes it would be best if she were to be trained and stay with another mage until she can control herself and her new found abilities," Kalen bobbed his head in submission, "and it appears she believes that task would be best left in your hands." I was dumbfounded momentarily at his words. "She wants the woman to stay here? In my cabin with me, and I am to train and watch her like and newborn babe?"

I was well aware of the game that the sister was attempting to play here. She saw two apostates with little ground to stand on. She cared not if they wanted to be forced together and she certainly didn't care if rumors started circulating about them. What did it matter to her or the inquisition anyways? He was an elven apostate lucky enough to be given refuge because he had agreed to help and she was a half-breed with nowhere to go and magic herself. Kalen had his head bowed and was waiting patiently for my response, "Well I suppose that we shall have to bend to her will then won't we? Please inform your mistress that my companion will need a bed of her own and some clothes. The ones she had on were damaged badly in her fall, and please make it known to her that once the rumors start circulating about me and this woman she will be the one who will have to do damage control." Kalen's face blanched a little and I knew that the last part would never make it to the spymaster's ears, but it still felt good to get it out of my system even for a minute.

Kalen bowed quickly and made his way out the door. He could probably feel the waves of frustration coming off of me. Granted, there really wasn't another competent mage around to handle this situation and I really did need to try and figure out where this girl came from, but still. The gall of that woman to simply demand obedience irritated me beyond belief. Such shows of power control had never sat well with me and I sincerely hoped that she wasn't going to attempt to make a show of doing such things often. My agents would simply have to step in if things got to out of hand with the spymaster.

I checked my stew again to help calm myself and I went about tiding up my cabin to make room for my new roommate. Not that my cabin was messy, especially considering that I have barely spent any time in it, but I pushed my bed further towards the wall to make room for hers and I set about emptying a couple of drawers in the dresser for any of her belongings. I was very careful not to leave things laying around that would give away my identity. While I was moving my belongings in the draw I came across two things that had been on the woman when they had brought me to her. They had been in the side pockets of the red dress that she was wearing. One was made of some kind of animal skin and had brightly colored flowers of the likes he had never seen before on it. When I had opened the fastening on it, I had discovered some very odd things inside made of a material I had never seen cut in rectangles. One of the rectangles also had a mini portrait of the woman on it that looked extremely clear and realistic. The item in her other pocket had been a metal ring with two keys on it. They were keys of a type I had certainly never seen before though and I could not imagine what they possibly opened.

I could have given these items over to the seeker and the spymaster, but I had chosen to keep them for the simple fact of knowledge being power. These were items that we clearly important to the woman or she would not have kept them on her, but they were also clearly not from anywhere that I had ever been before and I had been a lot of places in my time. Where this woman came from was a mystery and one that I planned to solve with the help my agents and my own cunning and intelligence. I smiled to myself as I carefully wrapped her belongings up in a tunic of mine and placed it back into the drawer. I went over to check the stew one more time when there was another hurried knock on the door.

I opened it expecting to see Kalen with another message from Leliana perhaps, but was greeted by two guards who simply nodded at me and carried a bed in, "Where would be best to put it elf?" one of the guards asked gruffly. I indicated the spot I had made by the end of my bed and closest to the adjoining wall, "There will be fine ser." The guards placed the bed down roughly and turned to leave. I could see that it was a bed almost identical to mine with sheets and a blanket already placed on it, but there was no pillow. "May I have a pillow for my pupil as well please?" I asked as humbly as I knew how. The other guard started laughing at me, "You knife-ears will do well to be thankful that you have a roof over your heads, a bed to lay on, and the protection of the inquisition. If she wants a damn pillow then the little bitch can get one herself with her own earned money. If she needs some ideas of where to earn it from just let me know." The guard winked at the last part and turned to exit with his companion laughing at his twisted joke. They were both brutish looking men and I hoped that I never had to see them again because I wasn't sure that I would be able to resist killing them for such slurs and blatant racism. With a flick of my wrist my door slammed shut behind them.

Maybe two hours later, there was a knock on my door again. This knock was firm, but much less hurried than my previous two visitors today. I was eating a bowl of my stew while sitting on my bed. I placed my bowl on the table beside my bed as I rose and opened the door. Cassandra was standing with her hand raised as if she would knock again and slightly behind her was the woman from the portal. The woman had her curly head down and was wrapped up in a long dark cloak. She looked as if she was trying to shield herself from the world. "I have brought your student to you ser Solas. She is aware that you are to be both her teacher and her guard. Please make sure that she stays with you and if you must go somewhere without her, for now, release her into the custody of another member of the Inquisition," Cassandra was looking at him expectantly.

I nodded to the seeker, "Very well, seeing as neither her nor I have much say in the matter we will comply. Come in please, your bed arrived just recently as well." I stepped aside to allow the woman to enter and she did so hesitantly passing Cassandra and entering my… _our_ … cabin. I noticed as she passed me that she was shorter than I expected, but I supposed I shouldn't be too shocked with her heritage. "Very well Seeker is there anything else that you need from us tonight?" I asked this while making a point to look at the darkening sky past her shoulder. "No, I believe that settles it. I expect to see you two out by Cullen and the Soldiers tomorrow with her training," her dark eyes looked into mine and I inclined my head in her direction. "So we shall be," and I watched as Cassandra gave one more hesitant look at the woman behind me then turned and walked away. I closed the door softly behind her before turning around.

Before I could even speak to the woman standing in front of me looking at the floor and also looking very lost she spoke first, "Ma serannas, I appreciate you healing all of my wounds." I was surprised to find that her voice was feminine, but with a slight accent that I could not having ever recalled hearing before. I nodded my head at her and decided to take control of the situation, "It was no problem. My name is Solas as I'm sure you've heard by now and you are?" I waited a moment as she seemed to be bracing herself to talk to me. She finally made eye contact with me and I noted that her eyes also had a distinctly elven shape to them and they were a pleasant shade of hazel brown, "I am Fallen." I pointed at her outerwear, "Please take your cloak off and make yourself comfortable. No sense and being tense the rest of the night. Tomorrow, the real work shall begin. Would you like some stew?" I glanced her way as I walked towards the pot over the fire to see her nod.

"Please, that would be amazing. I had forgotten how long it's been since I've eaten and ya'll don't seem to like to feed your prisoners," she had removed her dark cloak while talking and I noticed that Cassandra must have gotten her some new clothes and allowed her to clean up. She was wearing a black tunic with quarter sleeves and brown pants that were popular with the rogues. She had on a simple pair of black boots and I also notice that her hair appeared much cleaner. It fell around her shoulders in messy curls. I forced myself to stop looking at her and focused instead on what she had just said, "Ya'll?"

Fallen's cheeks turned a slight shade of pink as she brushed a few curls behind the round human-looking ear on her right side, "It means 'you all,' it's a very common slang phrase from where I'm from." "And where might that be," I asked immediately. She seemed to cringe at this line of questioning, but she persevered on, "I am from South Reach. My mother was a serving girl in Denerim and when she found out that I was on the way she moved to South Reach to raise me." As someone who has rehearsed many lies in my life I easily recognized what she said as such, "I see. So I am assuming that your father was human then?"

While I had been speaking to her I had filled her a bowl of stew and I directed her to sit on her bed with it so that she could eat. "Of course he was. Why would you think any different?" she asked with curiosity. I sat on my on own bed and returned my attention to my own stew while I answered her, "Well I was wondering where you got your round ears from. Elf-blooded humans always have the round ears of their human parent." I heard her choke a little on her stew and her face looked a combination of shocked and confused, "So you think that I'm elf-blooded?"

I raised my eyebrows pointedly at her, "Have you forgotten that I tended to you while you were injured? I spent three days looking after you and that granted me the time needed to notice the familiar traits." "And what traits do you see in me that are elven?" Fallen asked. In that moment, I honestly couldn't read the expression on her face and irritated me immensely. "Your legs are hairless as is under your arms. You are shorter and in fact I failed to realize how short you are until you walked past me earlier, and your nose and eye area has a slightly elven inclination to it as well," I took another bite of my stew and was pleased with the flavor. I really hadn't lost my touch.

"Very well, my mother was an elven servant in Denerim and my father was a human noble who took advantage of her. At Least, that's the story that she told me before I died, but as for the truth of it I have no way of knowing," she continued to look at her stew while she spoke and I got the feeling that there was some truth mixed in that statement, but plenty more lies. Well, for now, she could keep her secrets. I was well aware that it was looked down upon to have elven blood within your veins to the quicklings.

"Don't worry your secret shall be safe with me. I will not tell everyone of your tainted blood; although, you should know that most elves and a great many humans will be able to tell that you carry elven within you blood," I sat my bowl down firmly on the table beside by bed and schooled my features into a mask of calm. "It is almost time to retire for the night. As I stated earlier, tomorrow we will begin your training and you will stay with me throughout your days with the Inquisition until further notice. I am assuming that means you will be traveling with me if the Herald needs my services and that means we have to make sure you are gaining control of yourself. I will place wards tonight to guard your dreams from demons so you need not worry about that. Eventually, you will be able to do so on your own," as I was speaking I had taken both of our now empty bowls and placed them on the table by the door. The servants would collect and replace them the next day when they made their rounds. A timid voice spoke up from her bed behind me, "Solas, I do not despise the idea of having elven blood in my veins. The shape of someone's ears does not determine who they are any more than the color of their skin or their sex. Honestly, I don't even really care what people are going to say about us," she waved her hand self-consciously between the two of us to emphasize her point, "but if we are going to live together then it needs to be understood that there are things in my past that are hard for me to talk about just as I am sure you have the same in yours."

Her big brown eyes were looking at me imploringly and I surprisingly felt myself warming to her spirit a bit. I was still very aware that she was hiding things and lying about where she came from, but I couldn't help it. I was moved by her words that were so open and earnest in a world full of people who were telling the truth, but didn't sound nearly as compassionate and sincere as her. "Alright then Fallen, I can agree to that. You should know that others around here are not going to leave it at that," _including myself_ I thought. She nodded and her curls bounced around her shoulders, "I know that and I'll deal with it when I get there." With that, she laid back on her bed and as I turned around to make sure the door was locked I heard, "Well I'll be… I don't even have a damn pillow." The chuckle that escaped me was caused by a combination of her frustration and that strange accent of hers. _She is different_ … I thought as I slid the lock into place for the night.

 **Translations:**

 _dalen:_ child or small one

 _ma serannas:_ my thanks


	4. The Magic Within

**The Cost of Pride**

Megatoxic

* _*Disclaimer: I do not own any Bioware/DA characters. I am simply an avid fan with a day dream about her favorite RPG game.*_ *

 _[Trigger Warning in_ _This Chapter_ ]

 **Chapter 4: _The Magic Within_**

I watched silently from my new pillow-less bed as Solas set wards around the cabin. It was an interesting sight to watch if I'm quite honest. He worked wordlessly and wherever he placed a ward there was a soft blue light that seemed to come from his hands. Where the ward was placed, the area appeared to flare up and spread out like a spider webb until it reached the ward next to it before dimming and becoming invisible. The strangest part about watching him place the wards was being able to feel what he was doing. There were raised goosebumps on my flesh and I felt something warm seeming to pulsate from within him and stretch out to meet me. When he was done, he climbed into his bed with his feet pointed in my direction so I could no longer see him. "Ma serannas Solas," I said quietly not expecting him to hear so I was surprised when a faint, "Hamin, Fallen," met my ears.

I was unsure what that word meant, but I was assuming that he wanted me to be silent. I soon heard his breathing become soft and even, and I figured that he had slipped away into the fade. In a way, I envied him his escape. I took this time to reflect on the past day. I learned from Cassandra that I was unconscious three days prior to awakening. Apparently, I also had magic that I had never used in my life, and The Dread Wolf himself was now my keeper. Oh and said wolf believes me to have elven blood in my veins.

All I could do was sigh and roll my eyes at the whole situation. I had no idea who created the portal that brought me here, but I had every intention of finding them as soon as possible so that I could go home. I glanced over at Solas' feet and found myself thinking about the man in general. He was packing more sex appeal than the game really let on in my opinion. I would never have guessed that he was so tall. He easily stands about 5 feet 11 inches up to possible 6 feet tall… I mean are all elven men that tall? It didn't seem very likely from the lore that I knew of, but I hadn't met any others as of yet to compare him too. His eyes were a brilliant shade of blue and his voice was as hypnotizing as I remembered from my play throughs. When I had first entered the cabin I had been terrified of him, but as we had talked I had managed to calm down a bit. When he had broached the subject of me being half elven I almost denied it, but hey… when in Rome. The truth is that I had never grown hair on my body other than my head. Every girl I'd ever known had always been immensely jealous of this fact, and the two men I'd been with had appreciated it. As of five days ago, I would not have considered it a possibility, but now I wasn't so sure. What if one of my parents had been an elf? At this point, I couldn't say it was impossible.

My father, Vaughn Silcox, had died when I was five due to a drunk driver hitting him while he was out jogging. I had a handful of memories of him and they all included him looking like a normal human man. My mother, Velahra Silcox, had been a single mother after that and as a CEO at her firm I rarely saw her. I knew that I looked like her per everyone else telling me so, but I did not see her for months at a time and this made it difficult to really pay attention to her appearance after so much neglect. Don't get me wrong, everything was provided for me and I never wanted for anything. Martha, the live-in nanny that mother had hired for me, attended to all my needs both while she was gone and when she was present. My mother was a distant figurehead in my life. It had been a very lonely childhood and the day after I turned eighteen I had moved in with my twenty five year old then boyfriend, Mitchell, and I hadn't spoken to my mother since that day. Surely, I would have noticed if she was elven.

My fingers subconsciously ran through my curls and I was thankful that Cassandra had been kind enough to take me to the bathhouse. In the game, it was never mentioned or seen in Haven but it was actually a building behind the Chantry that was built over a hot spring. The seeker had also stopped by the requisition tent before taking me there and had acquired a change of clothes for me. When I had taken off my tattered sundress, I noticed that my wallet and keys were missing. I asked Cassandra if anyone had found any of my belongings, but she told me that nothing else was found on or around me. I suppose they must have been dropped somewhere in the attack I had endured. I sighed heavily again and rolled onto my side so that I was facing the wall.

I was terrified to begin "training" tomorrow. How would I ever begin to use something I'd never known that I even possessed. Also, I was feeling equal parts excitement and fear at the thought of meeting the other members of the Inquisition that the Herald had surrounding her so far. Was Blackwall here yet? Had she gone to collect Mother Giselle yet? I was eager to know where exactly on the timeline in Haven I had fallen in at. I had to remind myself that I could worry about all that the next day. I really needed some good ole shut-eye. Before I drifted off my last thought was about reigning in my country accent and out of place sayings.

 _I was so small and frightened. I buried my face into my mother's long red curls and clung to her fiercely as she ran through the forest. I had no idea what we were running from, but I knew that it had my mother terrified so of course I was too. She kept stumbling and falling down as tears streamed down her face, "I will get you somewhere safe Fallen. My sweet dalen, you will never have to live in such fear again." She kept repeating this to me like a mantra as she continued to push our way through the forest…_

I awoke enough to realize that I had been dreaming and I rolled over to my other side so I was facing towards Solas' feet again.

 _ **Trigger Warning**_

 _Then I found myself being held down. I was in the back of that horrible black van, and my attacker was on top of me. His gloved fingers were pushing up my sundress and I felt his breath hot on my neck. I would not be this woman again. I would slit my own wrists and allow my blood to bleed out of my body before allowing another man to take away my light._

 _I felt something inside me force its way to the surface as if it was trying to make me explode from the inside out. My attacker was suddenly rolling off of me and screaming. I opened my eyes and all I could see was fire because he was literally on fire! A blood curdling scream left my throat as I backed away from him…_

 _ **Trigger End**_

I woke still screaming and felt strong hands on my shoulders shaking me. "Fallen! FALLEN! Please, you must wake up!" Solas' panicked voice got me to open my eyes. When I did, I could see his brilliant eyes focused on mine, "You must stop this. You will burn our cabin down if you do not." I looked behind him and saw the curtains in the window were on fire. As soon as I thought, _oh no, please stop_ , the flames died down and disappeared. The smoke lingered in the cabin, but the curtains were burnt, crispy tatters at that point.

Tears sprang into my eyes as I met Solas' gaze again, "I'm so sorry." That was all I got out before I started coughing from the smoke. Solas released my shoulders and went to open the shutters on the window. I could see through my blurry eyes that the skyline was starting to brighten. A new day was coming for me. That's when the tears really took over and I was sobbing hard. I could not deal with this! Then I felt a gentle hand on my back and a warm body sitting on the edge of my bed, "You have never used your magic before." He said it softly, but I could tell it wasn't question.

I shook my head and brushed my curls out of my wet eyes, "I promise you I had no idea that I was a mage until I fell through that portal." Solas nodded encouragingly, "I believe you now. That was the mark of a new mage. It was all emotional and you pulled on the fade too quickly and in too large of an amount for the little damage you did." He tilted his head slightly and his eyes narrowed a bit, "I am unsure until we get into your training, but I believe you have a rather larger pool of mana than most."

For some reason, his reaction pissed me off, "Oh and what about your wards? I thought those were supposed to keep me safe!" At that Solas' eyes softened as did his whole demeanor, "They did Fallen. Without the wards, you would have been easy prey; however, the wards do not protect us from the magic within us or our own thoughts and fears. Sometimes we have internal demons."

"You must think I'm so ridiculous," I stated sullenly while looking down at a spot on my blanket. I felt a long graceful finger slide under my chin and pull my face up to meet his, "I do not trust you and I do not believe the stories of your past; however, in this matter I promise to help you. You are not alone in your fear or lack of control as every mage experiences this in the beginning. It is a beautifully promising sign that you put out the fire so quickly. Do not sell yourself short." As I looked into the enchanting eyes of Fen'harel, I could see why he had been so successful and powerful at betrayal. He was an exquisite liar.

 **Translations:**

 **ma serannas:** _my thanks_

 **hamin:** _rest_

 **dalen:** _child or small one_

 **Resource:**

 _http/dragonage./wiki/Elven_language_


	5. A More Noteworthy Halfling

**The Cost of Pride**

Megatoxic

 _*Disclaimer: I do not own any Bioware/DA characters. I am simply an avid fan with a day dream about her favorite RPG game.*_

 **Chapter 5: _A More Noteworthy Halfling_**

After the situation with the curtains, I knew that going back to sleep was not an option. So there I was, on the training grounds with Solas and maybe three hours of sleep under my belt... if that. This was going to be a fun experience. A servant had brought three new outfits to me this morning and two of the said outfits were for training purposes. I had to admit though the I was much more comfortable this way than I woud've been otherwise. The pants were black and form-fitting, but made of a soft and breathable material. The top reminded me of a t-shirt, but it was made of the same amazing material as the pants. It was also much longer than a regular t-shirt, and it was a dark hunter green. I paired the outfit with the black boots Cassandra had acquired for me the day before. I had thought I would be cold with no sleeves in these mountains, but with the way my teacher was pushing me I was glad for the cold air on my exposed skin.

We were training close to Cullen and Cassandra's usual hangouts in the game. The space across from where Iron Bull would be, but I was assuming the Herald had not recruited him yet. I had tried to glance nonchalantly down to see if Blackwall was near his cabin, but I had been unable to get a clear shot and I didn't want Solas to have another reason to be suspicious of me. I had caught a glimpse of Cullen's blonde hair a few times, and Cassandra kept periodically walking around her training dummies to keep an eye on us mages I'm sure. Considering her last lover had been a mage, I would have pictured her as being more understanding.

"Fallen have you been listening to me?" Solas asked in an exasperated voice that drew me from my thoughts and back to the task at hand. "Ma serannas, we have been going for hours now and I feel like I haven't accomplished a thing." I shook my sweaty head full of curls in frustration, "this is not looking good Solas." "You are simply too distracted. You are close, but you must harness your willpower," Solas replied evenly and doing that signature thing of his where he puts his hands behind his back. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply through my nose. I forced myself to imagine a wall as he had suggested, from within myself, and then pushed it outwards. "Open your eyes Fallen," when I did as he instructed I could see what appeared to be a clear film around myself. It made everything outside of it appear slightly warped. I had done it! I had created a barrier!

I felt the first effortless smile form on my face since I had landed in Thedas, and when I looked at Solas I saw him smile for the first time too. I felt my heart beat faster at the sight and my stomach squirm. _Absolutely not, do not even go there crazy_ , I thought to myself sternly. Solas was completely unaware of my internal struggle, "Very good! It actually looks pretty stable as well. I'm going to test it now, and do not be afraid. If I break your barrier I am an excellent healer." "Now wait just a dang... " had barely left my lips when the first spear of ice shot from his hands and hit my barrier. I gasped and flinched out of instinct, but I felt nothing and my barrier surprisingly did not give. Solas gave me a wicked smirk that made heat pool in places I had long thought dead, "Keep up if you can." Than he really started testing me. He shot ice spears and fireballs at me very quickly giving me no time to adjust between the two. Still, my barrier held. So he tried a new tactic that finally cracked it. He shot a fireball at my chest and then fade stepped so he was suddenly at my back, which surprised me, and broke my barrier with one of his ice spears.

I tried to take it as gracefully as I could, but the spear hit me in the middle of my back and it hurt like blazes! I had fallen to my knees and I felt his hand on my back gently sending healing magic to my inflicted area. My skin reacted again and I faint static again, but this time I also felt something else when his magic touched me. I felt _power_. I could sense what had to be his mana and it felt warm, welcoming, and strong. As if I could bask in it forever and never have to leave it ever again. I was absolutely amazed at how enticing it was. Solas stiffened suddenly and pulled his hands back to himself quickly. I could tell that he somehow knew what I had sensed from him, but there was a conflicted look on his face that seemed familiar to me for some reason. A loud whistle broke our eye contact followed by a very familiar voice, "Well would you look at that. Chuckles finally has a woman sleeping with him and this is how he treats her."

I turned around with burning cheeks to meet Varric Tethras. I sensed Solas stand up behind me and he held out his hand to help me up as well, "Varric we are training as you can see. I have a very short amount of time to teach her much and... " "Oh don't worry Chuckles, I'm sure before all is said and done our newest addition will have learned _plenty_ from you," Varric broke Solas off quickly and smoothly. I didn't think my cheeks could get any redder and I felt like melting into the nearest snow bank. The dwarf was very much like his game counterpart, and the impressive chest hair was on full display, "Our relationship ain't like that. Solas is simply guarding me as instructed and helping me harness my abilities. I have only recently come into my magic." "If you say so, but know this I have yet to be wrong about these things, and I will be keeping notes for my future works," Varric replied earnestly. "Master Tethras is there something that we can help you with?" Solas inquired with a definite touch of irritation in his voice. "Well, you've been pushing your lovely companion for about six hours now, and I was coming to see if she'd like to go down to the tavern for a bit. You know, it might do her some good to eat today and relax for a minute," Varric nodded in my direction and my stomach chose then to growl very loudly.

"Very well, I will come and fetch you in two hours time to continue Fallen," Solas said briskly, "and Master Tethras as a member of the Inquisition I am turning her over to your custody for now. Be sure that you do not lose her or Cassandra will fight Leliana over your hide." With that having been said, Solas turned swiftly and made his way back towards Haven like his ass was on fire. "Well, that have you been doing to Chuckles down here Halfling?" Varric asked with curiosity. "Halfling?" I deflected smoothly. As he started leading me back into Haven Varric explained, "See I give everyone nicknames because it makes them more noteworthy, and your the first half-elf-half-human that I ever met who looked so... well... half-elf-half-human." I walked quietly beside him for a minute before asking what was really on my mind, "Do I _really_ look it that much?" Varric raised his eyebrows in surprise before turning his head my way, "Well yes to be honest with you. If I hadn't seen your ears Halfling I would just assume you were an elf. Now, granted an elf with a little more curves than normal." He looked me up and down at that last part and had stopped because we were now at The Singing Maiden. I looked at the door nervously. There was a lot of noise coming from inside, and I had never managed myself well in crowds. "Oh come on then," Varric grabbed my elbow and pulled me towards the door, "You'll be fine. Besides, I know for a fact Flissa makes a mean nug sandwich." I must have made a funny face at that because Varric died with laughter after taking a glance in my direction.

Seven hours later, and I was dying on the training grounds with Solas again. I could hold one mean barrier that even the wolf had to agree was was pretty impressive given I was only one day in, and I could now throw fireballs from my hands which I was completely thrilled about. I needed to work on my aim a bit, but I was willing to take the progress. Neither Solas or I acknowledged the incident earlier where I heard accidently tapped into his power. I was still finding it hard to believe that it felt that vast especially since in the _Tresspasser_ DLC he had mentioned how weak he was when he first awoke. I couldn't even begin to imagine what he would have felt or been like in his height of power as Fen'harel. Speaking of feeling weak, my own mana had certainly died down for the day and I was feeling it physically as well. I was weak, tired, and sweaty. Mages were much more physical than I thought and I wasn't even using a staff yet.

As if reading my thoughts Solas chimed in, "That should do for today. It will only get easier from here." He looked toward the dining skyline before looking back towards me, "There is some left over stew would you like to go back and I could warm it up for us?" I was thinking that sounded great, but that I would really love a bath when another familiar person read my mind, "That sounds great old man, but I'm sure she'd probably like a bath first." I followed the voice to meet the bright green eyes of the Herald who had walked over to us. She was wearing training gear herself and looked sweatier than I felt. Her red hair was pulled up in a braided bun on top of her head. I would've gladly eaten my left foot to be able to look as effortlessly beautiful as Ellana Lavellan. She was looking at me expectantly, "Well, what do you think? Do you want to go to the bathhouse with me?" She meet my gaze slyly, "Unless Solas was going to take you?" I felt my cheeks burn red again and when I glanced at Solas I was actually surprised to see that the tips of his ears were pink as well. "NO!" we both practically screamed at the same time. The Herald giggled and grabbed my hand, "Well, we had best be off then. Catch you later hahren!"

The Herald and I had gathered some clean clothes from our different current residencies and then we found ourselves soaking in the hot spring. She had also brought some heavenly scented hygiene products that she said were Dalish and she was willing to share. She even said that she would send for some more so I could have my own. Bless her heart, she was perfect. Thankfully, it was just us on the women's side. She had let her long hair down and I had brushed it out for her. In return, she promised to braid my hair after our bath, and she made me promise to call her Ellana. I had also noticed as we got in that she was completely hairless like me in all the same places. Her body was more lithe and lightly muscled than my own, but that particular similarity stuck out given recent conversations. "Can I ask you something?" I couldn't help but break our comfortable silence because I was so curious.

Ellana lifted her head up from the side of the pool and opened her eyes, "Of course lethallan, ask away." "Why have you been so kind to me? Even now, you call me lethallan and you barely know me. Even Solas has told me he does not trust me or believe me," I could not seem to help the tears that fought their way to the surface as I spoke. Ellana considered me for a moment before responding and as she ran her hands through the water I noticed for the first time that her marked hand was lighting up our water. "I too know what it is to be in a scary and dangerous situation that no one understands. Also, I know how it feels to be looked down on for your race. I feel for you because you experience this from both the humans and the elves." She sighed, "I can't imagine what it must be like to have to add magic into that mix. I have no friends here Fallen and neither do you. Perhaps together we won't be so alone?" She looked so innocent, young, and earnest that I wondered how old she was to be dealing with all this shit. "Okay Ellana Lavellan, friends it is then," and both of us burst into giggles at our broad smiles which then led to a rather intense water fight. She won by a long shot. A word to the wise, never pick a water fight with a Dalish elf.

After getting clean, Ellana walked with me to the cabin that was for Solas and I. As I raised my hand to knock, the door opened and an elven man wearing the armour of one of Leliana's scouts stepped out. His brown eyes widened in surprise. "Herald," he bowed to Ellana, "and... " he raised an eyebrow in a questioning manner at me. "Fallen, my name is Fallen, and you are?" I asked boldly. The man laughed with mischief lighting up his eyes, "I am Kalen. I am an agent of the Inquisition. A friend of mine was hurt on the field and Solas had an herb I need to tend to him. Imagine my pleasure at getting to meet such a lovely creature as well." Ellana giggled at my expense beside me as my cheeks flared up again today for what I hoped was the last time. I heard someone clear their throat loudly and I saw Solas come up to the door behind Kalen, "Are you ready to eat Fallen?" "Yes, I am. Goodnight Ellana," I gave her a quick hug, "and thanks for the braids." I pointed to the two french braids tucked behind either ear on my head. They both ended just below my shoulders. "It was no problem lethallan, see you tomorrow!" With that, she was gone. Kalen bowed to both Solas and I and sauntered off. Solas moved to let me by him, and as he shut the door I smirked to myself. It would appear that the wolf was already on the hunt. If I had a bottom dollar, I would be willing to bet it on Kalen being an Agent of Fen'harel, and no amount of his flattery would change my mind.

 **Translations:**

 **ma serannas:** my thanks

 **hahren:** elder

 **lethallan:** someone with whom one is familiar

 **Resource:**

 _http/dragonage./wiki/Elven_language_


	6. The Tide Rushing Into the Shore

**The Cost of Pride**

Megatoxic

 _*Disclaimer: I do not own any Bioware/DA characters. I am simply an avid fan with a day dream about her favorite RPG game.*_

 **Chapter 6: _The Tide Rushing Into the Shore_**

The timeline here was much different than the perception that the game gives. Roughly six weeks had passed since I had come through the portal, and Ellana still hadn't left to even get Mother Giselle. In those six weeks, stuff had been accomplished though. My own personal growth had come pretty far. I could keep a strong barrier and extend it to roughly four individuals depending on their size and distance from me. I was most definitely a fire mage and could light someone up in an instant. I was still working on targeting multiple targets with my fire magic though, and Solas seemed rather impressed that I had picked up fade stepping so easily. Haritt, the blacksmith, turned out to be much more likeable that I remembered and had whipped me up a basic, but reliable fire staff.

As for Solas and I… well, we had settled into a very safe and platonic companionship. He was an excellent teacher and I loved when he explained new concepts to me. The enthusiasm he had when discussing his travels in the fade was also infectious, and he promised that soon he would start teaching me how to do our warding at night and how to travel the fade. After the incident our first night, he had been putting me into a dreamless sleep every night. Which I really wasn't complaining as I got some great quality sleep that way, but he was worried I would become dependent on it. I could understand and respect that.

Ellana and I had become extremely close. I had never in my life taken to someone so quickly, but she had such a beautiful spirit that it was hard to deny her. She was like the little sister I had never had. We both agreed that as soon as I was released from being under guard that I would move in with her. There was a part of me that would miss Solas' constant presence, but I knew it would be for the best. I loved learning from him, but I was well aware it was a one-sided attraction. He was simply doing as he had to in order to fit in and be needed.

He was always patient, kind, and polite, but he still made it obvious that he didn't trust me in the slightest. To him, I was some half-shemlen who was in his way. Someone else to be wary of because when he destroys the veil I'd be gone anway. I didn't know if that should make me mad or it I should feel sorry for him for being so alone.

"Hey, you in there Fallen?" Ellana cut off my thoughts from across the table. We were in _The Singing Maiden_ eating lunch in between our respective trainings which had become our norm. "Sorry Ell, I didn't catch any of that. I was thinking about everything," I let out a deep breath, "please continue." She gave me an understanding look and patted my hand on the tabletop, "I was telling you that I asked Leliana about you being allowed more freedom." I took a gulp of my mead and laughed a little, "Do tell how that went." She scoffed, "She told me that her agents are still looking for anything on your past, but that they keep coming up empty-handed like you never existed before now."

In moments like these, I wanted to tell her everything, but I just couldn't do that. I couldn't afford to trust anyone completely in my situation if I wanted to guarantee that I continued to breath. "There isn't much to tell Ell or for her to find for that matter. My mother and I kept to ourselves. Nobody really wanted much to do with the runaway servant and her half-breed brat," I was concerned at how easily the lies flowed off my tongue these days, but nobody said survival was easy. "I tried to tell her something along those lines," Ellana turned over a piece of nug on her plate absent-mindedly, "but that woman has major trust issues. Watch yourself around her and her people okay?" I nodded quickly and tugged one of my braids, "You don't have to tell me twice."

I felt a draft as someone entered the tavern and when I turned to investigate I saw Kalen. He hesitated for a second at the door as all the tables were full and then he met my gaze. A small smile graced his lips and I quickly turned back around in my seat. Ellana, swift rogue that she was, noticed the exchange and smiled at me, "That won't help lethallan he's headed this way. Have you spoken to him since the first night when he showed interest?" I shook my head no quickly. I wished I could tell her what I suspected him to be, but instead came out with, "I'm not interested in anything like that right now." Ell smirked and waved her marked hand like she was shooing away a fly, "Not from him you mean?"

"Aneth ara Herald and Fallen," Kalen said from close to my right side. I turned to face him and saw that he was looking at me with a sly smile, "Hello Kalen, nice to see you again." Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say because he took it as an invitation to sit at our table. As he was getting comfortable, I was able to come to the conclusion that Solas was very tall for any elf. Perhaps, it came with being an ancient one. Kalen couldn't have been that much taller than myself. I also had to admit that he was a very handsome elf. He was barefaced like Solas and had common enough features, but there was a roguish appeal about him and I was sure he knew it too.

"Well, I've got to head out," Ellana said too innocently as she got up from the table, "you know I've got lots of Herald-y stuff to attend to." Kalen laughed loudly at that, "You have fun with that Blessed Herald of Andraste." I couldn't help being a bit surprised at the comfort he seemed to show around Ellana when he had a very respectful manner around Solas from what I had observed. This was further proof in my mind that he knew exactly who Solas was. "I have fun in everything that I do agent," she joked back, and with Kalen's back to me I mouthed the word _traitor_ at her retreating form. Kalen turned and waved a serve over to take his order. "I should probably be going myself," I said as nonchalantly as I knew how. "You have come far in your training," he prompted ignoring my blatant discomfort and desire to leave. "I have a very wise and experienced teacher," I replied. Kalen smirked as if I had no idea how right I was about my comment, "Yes, Solas does appear so." "Yes… well… as I was just saying I must be going. I'm sure he'll be expecting me soon for out evening lesson," I got up from my chair and I felt his warm hand grab my forearm. "Should you find yourself in need of company seek me out. You are a beautiful woman, and I would love to get to know you better," he said smoothly with a slightly husky tone to his voice. Years ago, before I knew anything about men, that might have worked on me. As it was, I was not amused. "Please tell Leliana that I have no interest in being seduced at the moment," I said firmly before I removed his hand from my arm and turned to leave. I was extremely pleased with the shocked look I saw on his face before I turned away. The poor man was probably used to that working for him. As I headed down the training grounds, I spared a moment to wonder if it was actually Leliana or Solas that sent him at me in that manner.

Three days later, I found myself on the training grounds as usual with Solas and he had me practicing hitting moving targets with fire. He had enchanted some training dummies to move around. Three of them were going and I was concentrating on decimating them with my fire skills. Solas was watching me calmly from the sidelines for a good while before he seemed to decide that I was taking too long. He smoothly stepped forward and with a tap into his beautifully enticing mana pool he lit all the dummies up spontaneously. I felt my jaw drop in amazement. I could barely do one moving target at a time. "Can you teach me to do that?" I meant to ask politely, but it came out more as an enthusiastic squeal. He chuckled in that way that made my heart beat faster, "You will be there before you know it. You power has developed quickly and shows promises for much more development and complexity to come." He tucked his hands behind his back, "Tonight you shall set the wards in our home so that we can assess how they hold up." I paused at what he said. That was the first time either of us had referred to our arrangement in that little cabin as "home."

Before I could come up with an appropriate response, Solas directed his attention to two people approaching us. I felt something in him shift and he moved to stand beside me in what I could only describe as a supportive or protective manner. "Be calm and follow my lead," he said in a low but clear voice. I tucked a curl behind my ear nervously and returned my attention to the two figures that were now much closer. I smiled when I recognized one to be Ellana and quickly lost it when I realized that Cullen Rutherford was with the other figure. Solas much have picked up my heightened anxiety just as I had read him. He placed a gentle hand on my back and stepped around me to put himself in front of me and between myself and the approaching commander.

"Herald," Solas inclined his head towards Ellana and then Cullen, "Commander, how may we assit you?" Ellana pushed past Solas and grabbed my hands, "Lethallan, we are finally getting to go out and do some stuff! We have to travel to the Crossroads in the Hinterlands to find a woman going by Mother Giselle," her bright eyes were wild with excitement, "apparently she will offer support to our cause!" I squeezed her hands reassuringly, "You will have to tell me all about it when you return." Ellana's brow furrowed in agitation, "Don't be ridiculous! I need Solas' talents on the road, and where he goes, you go. Please say you'll travel with me Solas! You're the best healer around." She was giving Solas her puppy dog eyes and I felt a twinge of jealousy as I saw his eyes soften in response, "I have promised to help Herald and so I shall."

The Commander pointedly coughed into his hand, "Which brings me to why I'm here. Can you guarantee that the girl will not be a liability on the field around the Herald?" I bristled up like a porcupine at his comment… _girl? Really?_ "She will pull her own weight and I will continue to watch after her," Solas responded evenly, but I detected a hint of something in his tone that made me wonder what he was thinking. "I certainly hope so. If not she will stay here under the constant watch of myself or an available Templar of my choosing," I took that moment to really look at Cullen. He was huge. Even underneath all that armor and that ridiculous pauldron, he would still be impressive. He was effortlessly handsome, and I had an inkling that most Thor fans back home would be crazy about him. I might have found him more attractive personally if he wasn't looking at me like I had a dick in the middle of my forehead. I glanced at Ellana out of the corner of my eye to see her looking at Cullen much softer than I had ever seen her look at anyone. She placed her small hand on his elbow, "Solas says she's good Cullen, and I have spent much time with her. In fact, I've come to consider Fallen my friend. I know that you and the other advisors worry with the best of intentions as your motivations, but in this you must trust me. I could have easily been Fallen and she me." Cullen's cheeks turned slightly pink and I was glad someone other than myself was blushing for once. He reached up to rub the back of his neck, "You are right Herald. Solas, Miss, forgive me and enjoy your evening." With that the Commander was off. Ellana watched his back for a minute with a small smile before turning back to Solas and me, "Alright then! You two go get some sleep. We leave tomorrow bright and early."

That night, after dinner, Solas was patiently leading me around the room to place our nightly wards. I was finding it to be more difficult that I had originally bargained for. Solas made it look so easy every night. Ancient or no… it just shouldn't be legal. As I tried to lay the fourth one in a row that crumbled I sighed in frustration, "I'm sorry Solas. I think my mana is just about depleted for the day." Solas stood up from where he was tying and checking our travel bags by the door, "I pushed you hard today. Do not feel ashamed." I stared down at my feet, "Are you going to put me to sleep tonight too?" I heard and felt him move towards me, "I will, but as soon as you can place the wards by yourself I will stop doing so. The willpower you have been honing will be more powerful then and beneficial to you in the fade." "Of course, I will do as you say," even to myself my voice sounded childish.

"Fallen, I would like to try something if you will allow me," Solas said cautiously. I met his blue eyes with my brown, "What is it Solas?" "I would like to connect my mana to yours so that you can finish the wards," he looked almost bashful as he spoke which I'm sure was an act, "We both know you almost did it before. I have faith that we could connect." I nodded, "I think I could do it again, but I got the feeling last time that I made you uncomfortable." He acknowledged this with a nod, "It can be very overwhelming if one is not ready for the connection and this time I will be prepared." I had the strangest feeling that he was telling me a half-truth, but I was too curious to fight it.

I closed my eyes and focused on feeling for Solas. At first, I felt a wall and then very slowly I felt it fall and I was in. As I reached in to grab some of his mana I felt him push it towards me like the tide rushing into the shore. I gasped at the intimate feeling of it and tried to concentrate on my wards. By the time I had placed them all, I was a panting, quivering mess. Solas didn't look much better off either to my surprise. His face was flushed and his pupils were blown. When I was done, he very gently withdrew his power and I physically sagged with the loss of it. I felt so empty. The kind of empty you can only accomplish after being completely full. "Intriguing," Solas muttered to himself as he turned away from me.

 **Translations:**

 **Shemlen:** quick children or humans

 **Lethallan:** someone with whom one is familiar

 **Aneth ara:** friendly greeting

 **Resource:**

 _http/dragonage./wiki/Elven_language_


	7. A Blast of Righteous Power

**The Cost of Pride**

Megatoxic

 _*Disclaimer: I do not own any Bioware/DA characters or themes. Fallen is mine, but completely inspired by my favorite RPG game.*_

 ** _*This is a split POV chapter at the end. It should be easy enough to follow along with, but just giving a head's up.*_**

 **Chapter 7: _A Blast of Righteous Power_**

I told Kalen to entice her. He was an attractive enough elf, and he seemed to always have a female companion at night. I assumed that he would have no problem seducing Fallen, but apparently shame should fall upon me for assuming. When he had relayed what my pupil had told him, I was surprised to find that I felt rather proud of her response to his advances. She was of course wrong about who sent him to her, but she saw Kalen as the bait that he was told to be.

The truth was that the woman continued to surprise me every day it seemed. She was intelligent and compassionate. She had The Herald wrapped around her little finger very securely as well. As someone who knew the importance of having friends in high places, I was impressed by that fact. Leliana's scouts were still coming up empty-handed when digging into her past as were my own. It was clear at this point that she had been sent from somewhere unheard of at this point in time. I was an old man amazed at the possibilities of a place I had never seen or heard of before. The adventurous side of me was even more intrigued by her because of this.

Fallen's powers had progressed quickly as well. I would like to be able to say that it came down to my excellent skills as a teacher, but I simply knew this was not the case. She possessed a pool of mana unfound in the quicklings of this age. Her focus and willpower was indomitable, and I could not wait to see what she would be like in the fade. Her mana was very comparable to my own as far as feel, and she was able to connect to my mana in a way that no other being had ever before. Considering my age this was an accomplishment. It was an intimate experience with her. She could feel how strong and vast my power was and instead of being afraid or warry of it she seemed to want to bask in it. The night that she pulled from me to set the wards was the first night since I had awoke that I had felt the pull of desire for another.

If my old companions could have seen me about to devour a helf-shem in the most sinful of ways I would have been teased for centuries! I had to remind myself repeatedly that night that she had tainted blood and that she would bring shame to what I stood for if I crawled into her bed with her and took her. I watched her as she walked beside The Herald chatting away about harts. The Herald, Cassandra, Varric, Fallen, and I had set out before the sun had even risen in the sky. We were on foot for now, but Cassandra had said we were hopefully going to fix that soon. I certainly hoped so.

We were gaining good ground, but we all knew it would take us nearly a week on foot to reach the Crossroads. I noticed as Fallen walked that she had lost some weight during our time training together. She had not been fat by any means, but now she looked a bit smaller… more petite… more elven. Her hair had grown out a bit too, and the sun had lightened it a bit making it appear more red than brown. It was tied in a simple, but sensible single braid thrown over one of her shoulders. If one added in her freckles and big brown eyes to be accounted for, she was really quite a beautiful creature. How had I never noticed this before?

That's when the thought hit me… I should seduce her myself. None of the others were here to judge me, and my agents would understand the necessity if I explained it to them. After the event with our manas the night before, I knew that she wanted me. She desired me even. She was basically elven just with round ears and more curves… which is I was honest with myself I could admit I was a little curious about. If I could get her to care for me then perhaps I could learn her secrets. It was also quite possible that with the right leverage I could turn her into a very strong, be it unknowing, Agent of Fen'heral. If I played my hand right, her ties with The Herald could be most beneficial to my cause.

"You know Chuckles, if you keep staring at her like that she might combust," Varric teased quietly from beside me. The Herald and Fallen were too far ahead to hear, but Cassandra laughed softly from Varric's other side. "Why not just tell her of your interest?" the seeker asked lightly, "you have been living with together for some time now. It may be that she even suspects or already returns your favor." Much to their surprise I replied, "I was just thinking about doing as much." Cassandra adopted a rather far off look on her face before replying, "Do it when it's just the two of you and make sure she feels all your attention on her." She seemed to come back to herself and added, "And be a gentleman about it. We're in tents out here and if I even suspect that you're being rough or demanding with her elf I will barge in faster than you can say 'Maker's balls.'" Varric snickered, "Alright seeker don't get your armor all bunched up. I don't picture Chuckles as the sort."

"What are you crippled halla talking about?" The Herald and Fallen had stopped on a ledge overlooking a field for us to catch up and it was The Herald who had asked the question. Fallen was staring with wide eyes at the landscape before us. "Chuckles here was just educating us on the ways of women," Varric said sardonically. The Herald snorted, "Well surely he's learned something about women at his age." I felt my brow crinkle in frustration, "Just how old do I look?" She chose to ignore my question and turned to Fallen next, "What do you think of the view?" In response, Fallen smiled broadly at us, "It reminds me of home. It's perfect." I was intrigued by her mention of her home, but also happy to see greenery coming up in the near future. I warded my feet from the elements, but it was still nice when I did not have too.

We walked until we were a couple hours out of the snow and The Herald and the seeker agreed to stop for lunch. The two rogues very quickly caught a couple of hares, and I agreed to season and roast them. Fallen was brushing and braiding The Herald's long hair back when I started listening in to their conversation. They were sitting on a large rock near where I was roasting the meat. "Well we should work out tent arrangements for tonight. There are two tents, but five of us." The Herald was picking at a piece of dirt beneath her fingernail as she spoke and looked relaxed. "I suppose I can sleep wherever as long as Solas sets wards for me," Fallen replied easily.

I decided to be bold and start working on my plan in that moment, "Well it would make the most sense if Fallen and I shared a tent together. I need to set our wards and besides we are already used to sharing a space together." I felt pleased when a blush graced her pretty freckled cheeks at my words. I could also feel the approval and support coming off of Cassandra, "Indeed, the two mages can have one tent and us three the other." Varric nodded agreeably, "It's not like you or I will take up much space," he pointed between himself and The Herald to signify who he meant. "Only if ya'll are sure? One of you could share with us if you wanted too," Fallen encouraged. "We'll see how tonight goes lethallan and if we need to adjust then we will," The Herald stated.

Silence descended on us as we sat around eating the hares I had prepared just a short while later. Their silence was all the approval I needed. I finished before the others and excused myself with an excuse that I needed to relieve myself. I stepped into the woods close by and allowed my silent feet to take me in and away from prying eyes and ears. I had not traveled as a wolf in a long time. I longed to reach out for my spirit form, but I resisted the urge as I came to a small clearing. I reached up at my jawbone necklace and tapped it twice. My jawbone was very special to me. It was a gift from Mythal and a powerful tool. When a new initiate, of any importance joined, I linked them to the necklace by blood so that I could summon them when I had need.

I did not have to wait long before two elves approached me from deeper within the forest. Kalen appeared as I had hoped he would and with him was a blonde elven woman bearing Sylaise's slave mark over her right eye. I believed that her name was Ila. She wasn't a very important agent. She must have been with Kalen when I called for him. She had abandoned her clan to follow me from what I remembered. The both bowed slightly out of respect and I felt a touch of irritation. I continued to insist with my agents that I did not require such displays, "My Lord, we have still found nothing of your foci or Corypheus or the woman for that matter, but Ila has news about the artifacts that you mentioned." The woman nodded her head firmly and stepped forward, "There is one north of here in a cave according to a lone Dalish woman I encountered. Her clan has been curious about it for a while now, but she is the only one willing to approach it."

"Very good. I will find a way to convince them that we must approach it when I sense it is close enough to do so," I inclined my head to each of them in thanks, "continue to stay alert. Do as Leliana asks of you both, but remember our end goal and approach me with any conflicts." Kalen opened his mouth to respond when a scream from back at camp broke the still of secrecy surrounding us. I easily recognized the voice it must belong too. "Fallen," Kalen and I said at the same time. He stepped forward as if to go with me, "No. You and Ila return to your scouting ahead of us as Leliana requested. I will handle whatever situation awaits." As I turned hurriedly to get back, I saw Ila's hand reach out and force Kalen away. Did he actually have interest in Fallen? I must make my new plan clear to him soon.

I fade stepped my way back and paused for a minute at what I saw. There were bandits everywhere. At Least a dozen of them and The Herald was laying unmoving with a bloody wound to the side of her head near the rock she had been sitting on with Fallen. Varric was standing on said rock blasting arrows into the fray, Cassandra was bashing left and right with her shield, and Fallen was being held off the ground by her throat by a very larger warrior with a great axe in his other hand. Honestly, I was astounded that I even hesitated before stepping to The Herald's side. I quickly healed her head injury which was relatively minor before seeking Fallen again with my eyes.

Her face was nearly blue and looked so small in his large hand. I blasted the brute with a wall of ice. The wall stretched pretty far as I had put more power into it than I meant to display in front of the seeker in my haste to free Fallen. It hit roughly eight of the bandits causing them to become momentarily incapacitated. Cassandra started shield bashing those she could reach and Varric's arrows became focused there as well. As I was reaching for another spell, I felt something slice into my right side painfully. A barrier… a stupid barrier… the very first thing I had taught Fallen was the thing my old wolf's ass forgot. The pain was intense and biting. I knew it would heal faster than a normal elf, I was after all immortal, but that did not spare me the pain.

Through the haze of my pain, I felt her. I felt her as I had never felt another mage before. It was as if she reached behind the veil while wide awake and brought out a blast of righteous power. The ground shook beneath us and a rain of fire descended into the battle crushing and incinerating foes on the spot. She stood there like an avenging goddess bringing the doom of her power upon the world. Not wanting her to drain herself to the point of death, I opened myself to her and pushed my mana towards her. I felt the same intoxicating rush as last time, but this time I could _taste_ her on my tongue almost. It was that physically intimate being so bonded to her. I could feel the need to protect; her need to protect in our bond. I was in awe of her in that moment and before I blacked out I think she felt the awe I had laid bare for her.

……………………………..

I rushed to Solas' side and was met by a very disoriented Ellana, "What in Fen'harel's jewels was that lethallan?" I shook my head and felt my neck throb as I croaked out, "What do I do?" I felt tears pool into my eyes and my hands trembled as I applied pressure to his side. It was bleeding so badly! Cassandra kneeled down beside me, "Can't you heal him?" "I don't know how!" I chokingly sobbed. Ellan's face turned stony, "Then we do as the Dalish." Next thing I knew, she had taken charge of the situation.

We were cleaning the wound with water from our canteens. The rogue reached into one of her many pockets and brought out a thick needle and thread which she handed to me. I started to shake my head adamantly when Ellana gave me an intense look, "No way Fallen. This is you man and if anyone's stitching him up it's you so that he can blame the scar on you." I didn't even have the energy to argue that Solas would never be "my man." Next thing I knew, we were inside a tent that Casandra and Varric had hastily thrown up and I was stitching up his side.

Ellana was keeping a careful watch over my work, and I was very thankful for that. I had no medical experience and did the best I could. I was so disturbed by the sight of the skin being pulled back together that I couldn't even appreciate the fact that he was half naked in front of me. I hoped he wouldn't scar too bad from my handiwork. Could an immortal elf even scar? Was this for nothing? Wouldn't he heal anyways? Wouldn't the others have been suspicious if I hadn't acted concerned? I barely registered another bedroll being placed out beside Solas. Someone took the needle and thread from me, and gentle hands pushing me back. I heard Cassandra ask about wards before the darkness claimed me.

 **Translations:**

 **Shem:** short for 'shemlen'; refer to previous chapter

 **Lethallan: **someone with whom one is familiar

 **Resource:**

 _http/dragonage./wiki/Elven_language_


	8. How It's Wielded

**The Cost of Pride**

Megatoxic

 _*Disclaimer: I do not own any Bioware/DA characters or themes. Fallen is mine, but completely inspired by my favorite RPG game.*_

[This chapter will continue a very light amount of in game dialogue. I realize that at certain points this will have to happen to stay true to the timeline and characters; however, I will try to keep it as light as possible.]

 **Chapter 8: _How It's Wielded_**

 _I was lying in a meadow filled with wildflowers and sunshine. The sky was a crystal clear baby blue with the most beautiful, fluffy clouds floating by. I felt perfectly at peace for the first time in forever. I was wearing a simple white gossamer dress that fell down to my ankles. I should have felt very exposed, but I spun around allowing my dress to swirl around me in the most carefree manner._

 _I laid down gracefully on my back amidst the flowers. They smelt so lovely, and I could hear the sounds of two birds singing to each other nearby. I felt a sudden shift in the air beside me and when I turned my head I found Solas lying in the grass beside me. He was wearing a loose white tunic that was a match to the material of my dress, black pants, and the usual jawbone necklace rested on his chest. He looked so handsome, and I remembered that my dress was basically see through. I hastily covered my chest as my cheeks warmed._

 _"You are so beautiful. There is no reason to feel ashamed vhenan," he said in a silky voice. He reached up and ran a hand through my curls which were down and spilling over my shoulders. "Vhenan?" I asked weakly, "Since when have you considered me as such? Surely, you would not consider someone you don't even fully trust to be your 'heart.'" He smiled lazily as his hand continued to run through my hair, "I have thought of you as such since I first laid eyes on you."_

 _As romantic and perfect as that sounded, that was also the moment that I realized I was in the fade and this was definitely not Solas. "Wrong again demon," I slapped his, it's, hand away, "you have nothing I want." The demon posing as Solas laughed darkly, "I think you and I both know that's not true mutt." I bristled at the demon's slur, "I will not give in to you! I said be gone from here!" It was chilling to see the murderous look the demon plastered onto Solas' face, "Very well, I shall leave, but I will be watching. When he decides that he's done with you feel free to seek out my company."_

 _The creature wearing his face leaned in as if to kiss me and I struck out with my hand, "Don't you dare!" As my hand struck his face, he dissolved. I was alone again in my beautiful meadow. It was not the same though. There seemed to be a taint lingering in the air as if the demon had crushed the magic of the place. I dropped my head into my hands and began to weep. Why was I asleep and still so unbelievably tired?_

When I started to wake, I tried to fight it. More sleep would be lovely, but I was also afraid of more demons. No wards had been placed as I had heard Cassandra discussing before I gave in to my exhaustion. I needed to get my shit together. I opened my eyes to see that I was laying on my side in the tent facing Solas. He still appeared to be asleep and he looked so fascinatingly peaceful. This made him look younger in the face and I took a second to enjoy it.

I pushed myself up into a sitting position and focused my attention to his wound. It looked to be almost completely healed and at any rate the stitches could certainly go as they were basically falling out anyways. I assumed that in less than twenty four hours he would be completely healed without a scar to show for it. A perk of being immortal, I mused to myself. I scooted closer to his side and I began working on removing the remaining stitches that were still embedded in his skin. After I had pulled out three, I felt a hand grab my wrist and my gaze met his as he awoke.

"Please, be still Solas. I am trying to remove your stitches," my voice sounded very dry and broken in the small tent, and my throat flared with agony as I spoke. "Stitches? How long have I been out?" he asked softly. "I am hoping we've only slept for a day, but I haven't been outside the tent yet. I wanted to check on you first," I answered as I continued my work. I could tell he was trying to decide how to respond especially since his injury seemed to have healed itself. The speechless and unsure wolf look did not become him.

I was pulling the last stitch out when he finally responded, "Thank you. I have always been a fast healer. I will heal it completely later." I vaguely wondered if that sounded as lame and unconvincing to him as it did to me. I simply nodded my head at him before starting to turn to exit the tent. "Wait!" Solas exclaimed. "Your neck Fallen," his long artist's fingers pointed at my abused neck. "I wanted to crush him when I saw him choking you, but I had to deal with The Herald's head wound first," his tone implied that he was looking for forgiveness.

If he wanted to ignore the elephant in the room then I guess I could as well, "You have nothing to explain Solas. Ellana has the mark. She is the most important person in Thedas right now. She must always come first." He looked down for a second and then met my eyes again, "May I heal it?" I nodded, "I would not complain, but please if you are too drained…" I didn't finish my sentence before I felt his hands slid around my neck followed by the soothing rush of his magic. "I will manage," he replied as he worked on my neck.

The relief that followed his healing magic was swift and soothing to my frayed nerves. "There are some things you and I should clear up before we leave this tent," he said to me calmly, but I could detect a tiny hint of nerves in his tone as well. Disappointment descended on me as his hands left my neck, "What would these things be Solas?" I rubbed my hands over my newly healed neck in fascination. "What you did during the battle, that firestorm, it will raise questions and I am sure that Cassandra will want answers for it," he was holding my gaze steadily.

"Can I not just tell her that you shared mana with me?" I asked with a small shrug, "Surely, I am not the first mage to use that kind of magic before, and especially in the face of death." I could tell that he was debating mentally on how he should share his knowledge with me. "Fallen, you started the firestorm without my assistance. When I felt you might push yourself too far, I reached out to help you," he was speaking to me like I was missing the bigger picture, and maybe I was. After all, I hadn't been around magic or mages my whole life like they all had.

Solas sighed and continued, "The magic you used is extremely rare today. I have seen such in my journeys through the fade, but currently no mage wields that much power at once. The seeker will have felt the power as you pulled from the fade because her abilities as a seeker allow her to do so. Also, you must never mention to her that we share mana with each other." I blinked at him curiously, "Any why is that?" "Because it is forbidden within the circles. In fact, most mages today have no idea how to do so which is why I was so taken with surprise when you managed to bond with me so effortlessly the first time. You did not have to be shown how," he said a little proudly.

I stared at him for a minute wordlessly. He was still shirtless and my eyes roamed his side, "Very well then. I will do as you ask and not mention the 'bond' as you call it." He nodded his head in relief, and seemed as if he would like to stand. I quickly got to my feet and held out a hand to help him up. As he was getting to his feet, I took my shot, "You should consider how you are going to explain being healed so quickly. You can tell them that you healed it yourself, but I am no fool." With that, I turned on my heels and left the tent quickly. I could only assume that wolves could pounce quickly if cornered.

_

Four days later, I was exhausted. I had never walked so much in my life. My blisters had their own blisters and I was pretty sure that I was forever encrusted in a case of sweat. Solas had avoided me like the plague after our conversation in the tent that fateful morning after the attack, and Cassandra was watching me like a hawk. She had interrogated me about what I had done, and I kept it as vague as possible acting as dumbfounded as I could. I was almost positive she thought I was possessed though or at the very least conversing with demons.

"We're getting close Halfling," Varric chirped upwards at me. "How can you tell?" I asked curiously. "The banner lethallan,"Ellana responded from my other side. I looked to where she was pointing and I saw an Inquisition banner flying on a hill. "We'll go up there and set up a base camp for tonight since it's so close," she directed. As we got closer, I saw a dwarven woman approaching us with strawberry blond braids twisted up on her head and I could have squealed with delight! "Hello Herald, I am Inquisition Scout Harding," she said merrily. "Have you ever been to Hightown?" Varric asked right on cue. "No, why do you ask?" she inquired curiously. "Because then you'd be harding in… oh never mind," he sounded displeased that she didn't figure it out on her own. As Cassandra let out her disgusted 'ugh,' I giggled. Varric turned and winked at me.

After Harding and Ellana swapped the expected banter, we began the descent down the hill to the Crossroads. Somehow, I ended up in the back walking beside Solas. Neither of us said a word as we fell into step with one another. When I was visually able to recognize that we were closer, I began hearing the sounds of fighting. I tensed at the thought. After the last experience, I was honestly terrified. "It will be fine da'len. Stay beside me," Solas' voice was welcoming amidst my fear as was his hand on the small of my back trying to offer a moment's comfort.

I noticed Ellana had pulled her daggers off of her back and I lost her once she slipped into stealth mode. Cassandra readier her shield as she pulled her sword from its sheath, and Varric removed Bianca from his back. I met Solas' gaze as he palmed his staff. I followed his lead and removed mine from its back strap as we stepped into the Crossroads.

It was utter chaos. Mages and Templars were rushing from everywhere. I quickly threw up a barrier around me and my companions. I heard Cassandra yell, "Mages we mean you no harm." To which Solas responded with, "I do not believe they care seeker." I tried to float around the outskirts of the battle to keep the barriers going, but I threw a few fireballs as needed. I was taken by surprise when I suddenly felt a metal hand on my arm. My heart sped up drastically.

With little thought of anything other than being free from harm's way, I reached further into my power and watched in a combination of amazement and horror as chain lightening left my body and lit up the metal templar now in front of me. I saw him hit the ground with his eyes wide and unmoving. I knew logically that he would have killed me, but I still felt a pain at the wasted life. What if this man had children at home? Had I taken someone's father as mine had been taken from me?

I looked up in a daze to see that the fight was over. How long had I been standing there frozen? Ellana was across from me with a sympathetic look in her eyes. Her daggers and hands were bloody and her usually smooth braid was frazzled. She was about to speak to me when I cut her off, "I'm fine. Please… find Mother Giselle." She nodded at me once and turned to speak to an agent behind her. Cassandra had wiped off her sword and was now by my side, "Your magic is becoming quite formidable. There is no doubt in my mind that you would make an excellent battlemage."

I shook my head 'no' adamantly, "I don't have the heart for it Cassandra." She considered me carefully for a minute before speaking her mind, "There is pride to be found in strength and power. Be it a shield, dagger, arrow, or a fireball our foes must be defeated. It is true that I am a bit disturbed by the rapid growth and strength of your magic, but when we needed it most we were not let down. I know that you are also afraid. I can read it all over your face. I want you to know that _you_ are bigger than your _power_. You decide how it's wielded and you will keep it under control." I felt tears attempting to take over my vision and I quickly swallowed them down. Now was not the time or place, "Thank you Cassandra."

Ellana did the expected script with Mother Giselle, and instructed us to head back to the camp that we had met Harding at while she and Cassandra handled a few more matters at the Crossroads. I was more than happy to comply with her orders. Solas and Varric kept themselves busy around camp, and when the sky started to darken I was aware that Ellana and Cassandra were back at camp.

I tried to push myself out of my funk to pay attention. Solas had sat down next to me at the fire and handed me some sort of hearty soup in a wooden bowl. It smelled decent enough and I was starving at that point so I wasn't too picky. There was a slight breeze in the darkness, and I was surprised when Solas moved closer so that our sides were touching. He touched a small piece of log between us and an orange symbol flared up for a second before disappearing. Then my rear became beautifully warm. I sighed in contentment as Solas chuckled. "You have to teach me that," I pleaded softly. Solas smirked at me in the firelight, "Wards first Halfling. You will set them before we sleep tonight."

I was startled and a little pleased at his use of Varric's nickname for me when I heard a throat nearby clear pointedly. I looked up to see Ellana waiting expectantly for everyone's attention. When she appeared satisfied that she had it she spoke, "Mother Giselle will be heading to Haven to join our cause. My party and I have a few matters to attend before returning ourselves. There are people here who are suffering and we, The Inquisition, will be the ones to give them hope. I also intend to speak with Master Dennett before we leave. I'm sure all our feet will appreciate that. Harding, please make sure that word gets back to the advisors of our actions and intentions. As for my traveling companions… I hope you guys like the Hinterlands because we're going to be here for a while."

 **Translations**

 **Vhenan heart**

 **Lethallan someone with whom one is familiar with**

 **Da'len little child; little one**

 **Resource**

 _http/dragonage./wiki/Elven_language_


	9. It Doesn't Mean Anything

**The Cost of Pride**

Megatoxic

 _*Disclaimer: I do not own any Bioware/DA characters or themes. Fallen is mine, but completely inspired by my favorite RPG game.*_

 **Chapter 9: _It Doesn't Mean Anything_**

Ellana had been very true to her word about spending some major time in the Hinterlands. The truth was that the timeline the game presented to the players was a load of shit. As much as it reminded me of home, after six weeks I was ready for the relative peace of Haven away from the blasted Hinterlands. Our party had worked tirelessly to make a significant difference in the area. We had collected ram meat for the hungry and we had marked the land accordingly for the watch towers needed for the farm. With any luck, in a month or so we would be back for mounts. We had also managed to close four rifts so far, and I had to admit that it was much cooler up close and personal. As far as Ellana and the mark anyways, but of course the demon part of rift closing was absolutely exhausting.

My magic was really best in combat, and I hated to admit it but Casandra was right. I was very strong with battle magic. I exceeded at assisting with closing the rifts. It was a lot easier for me to slay a demon than a person. Solas and I continued to share mana unbeknown to our companions. When he was looking tired, which was much less often than myself, I would push out towards him and vice versa. We had both become extremely good at not showing outwardly how the bond affected us. I had also been setting the wards at night since that first night as the Crossroads. I still insisted that Solas put me to sleep at night though since my last experience in the fade had put me face-to-face with a demon.

At the beginning of our seventh week, Ellana made an announcement over dinner at camp. "We are going to start heading back to Haven. I need to consult with the advisors and plan. Plus, we all look like we could use a break," she said with and exhausted tone to her voice. "I can back that plan," Varric stated from across the fire pit. Solas and I were sitting on our usual log side-by-side. It was a little odd that we had adopted was of being together comfortably. Part of me was quite sure that was exactly what he wanted, but it was really hard to fight it with our bond that was growing every day. In fact, it felt more natural than the two physical relationships I had been in previously and there was absolutely no such activities going on between us. Not that I hadn't thought about it, I mean, I was still a woman with a heart pumping blood through her veins.

"Some rest from traveling would be nice," Solas offered. Cassandra looked at him carefully from Ellana's side, "I pictured you being more comfortable on the road Solas." I wanted to hi-five her in that moment for catching the wolf, but Solas was as slick as ever. "Consider me spoiled by the Inquisition," he chuckled handsomely. I almost rolled my eyes as him, but decided against it. Instead, I stood up and stretched, "Well, I'm gonna go lay down on that note." Ellana raised her eyebrows at me, "What? Have you been spoiling Solas behind our backs Fallen?" The suggestive tone of her questioning made me blush, "I didn't… What I meant is… Damn it Ell, I was referring to the note of heading back to Haven in the morning!" They all began laughing hysterically at my expense. I turned on my heel and stomped into our tent to escape them.

I quickly set about putting the wards in place so that I could lay down for the night. Frankly, I had enough of just about everything to last a life time. After I had set the last ward, I looked around the tent Solas and I shared. The tents were much bigger than the game led you to believe, and once set in an area they stayed up. I could stand comfortably inside ours; although, I had notice that Solas had to slouch a bit. There were two bed rolls with furs in the middle maybe a foot apart from each other. On Solas' side there was always a stack of books and mine always had a messy pile of clothes.

I felt a slight draft behind me as Solas entered the tent. He looked at me hesitantly for a minute, "They were only teasing Fallen. Did it upset you?" I shook my head, "I'm only tired. I was a little embarrassed because I know what people assume about us, but honestly I'm not mad." He nodded in acknowledgement as he tied the tent flaps closed. He then made his way to his bed roll's side and began getting comfortable for the night. I was getting used to the sight of him shirtless at night so I turned my back to him and began focusing on my own comfort.

I slipped out of my brown vest and black tunic. Underneath, I had on a plan black tank top of sorts. I left my breast band on as always, but I hastily shimmed out of my form fitting pants and opted for a pair of knee-length shorts that Cassandra had given me from her supply. They reminded me of yoga shorts and they were beyond comfortable. When I turned around, Solas was already laying on top of his roll. He was shirtless as I suspected and his necklace looked delicious against his bare skin. He had a book about blood magic in one hand and with his other he conjured a small glowing ball of light that bobbed next to his head so that he could read in the growing darkness.

I had just settled into my own roll when I heard scrapping at our tent flap and a familiar voice break our silence, "Alright you two make room in your nest." Solas got up and opened the flap to provide a view of Varric in a pair of pajamas with a bed roll and furs in his hands. "What is this Varric?" Solas asked neutrally. "I can't take anymore of listening to those two elegant ladies snore at night. I know it has to drive the night watch crazy," the dwarf said as he pushed past Solas and snorted at the last part. He made a 'shooing' motion at me to move my roll closer to Solas' spot and I complied. Solas had closed out tent up again and resumed his spot and position in his roll reading. Our bed rolls and furs were touching now and I tried not to focus on it. "I am ready to sleep now," I directed at the elf. "Very well then, sleep well Fallen," he replied easily.

I looked at him in confusion, "You aren't gonna put me to sleep?" He lowered his book and met my eyes, "You are more than ready to start sleeping without my assistance. Your wards are strong and will keep the demons at bay, but you cannot hid from the fade forever. You are a mage and it is part of who you are." Varric shifted from my other side, "Alright, let's keep the magic shit to a minimum while I'm present please." Solas gave his usual chuckle, "You have no reason to worry Varric." I heard the dwarf give a huff and mumble something under his breath, but I couldn't make out what it was. Solas seemed to have heard though because he shook his head with a smirk.

I tossed and turned for some time in restlessness. Maybe Solas was right and I had become dependent on him getting me to sleep. As the night fell to pitch black outside, Varric started to snore in his sleep. The little hypocrite. Solas extinguished his light after putting his book away and covered his bare chest with his furs, "You are thinking about it too hard. Relax and let the fade rush up to take you," his voice was soft in the silence of the tent. Shortly after, I heard the rhythm of his soft and even breathing join Varric's snores. Eventually, my eyes closed and I stated to drift into sleep.

/

I was jolted awake suddenly by a loud thunder clap. Rain was pelting down on our tent roughly and I was amazed that it wasn't bowing under the pressure. I sat up in my roll and was astonished that Varric was still blissfully asleep and snoring away. The tent seemed to have become colder in the storm, and my exposed bare skin prickled. I brushed my sloppy curls away from my face and jumped again with a gasp as the thunder cracked again outside. I simply wasn't used to having so little protection between myself and a storm.

I was startled again when I felt a warm hand on my shoulder, and I followed it to find Solas looking at me with sleepy concern. "Fallen are you alright? I tried to seek you out in the fade, but I could not find you." I shivered from his touch and the cold as I responded in a trembling voice, "I never made it that far. As soon as I started to sleep the storm woke me up." As if to emphasize my point, the tent lit up briefly from overhead lightening and something cracked close by. I let out a low moan and unintentionally moved closer to him. "Do not fear da'len. Our tents are enchanted to withstand the elements," he said soothingly. The combination of his accent and the way he always spoke calmed me a bit. We were so close now that I could feel the heat coming off of his bare chest and his breath was tickling my nose. "You could climb in my roll if that would give you any comfort?" he offered.

I felt my breath hitch and my brain froze for a minute. "Only if you want to Fallen. If you think it will help," he offered reasonably. I was positively certain that it would do nothing to help our situation, but I was cold and honestly I did feel soothed by his presence. I cast a glance at the sleeping member in our area, "What about Varric?" Solas shrugged in the dark, "I care little what the child of the stone thinks." I breathed deep to calm my nerves and I instructed the inner fangirl in me who had romanced him a dozen times to take a backseat, "Okay, I would like that as long as you're okay with it, and you know that it doesn't mean anything." I could feel the smugness coming off of him even in the dark as he gave a sarcastic reply, "I would not assume anything of the sort."

He lifted up the corner of his furs closest to me and scooted over. I tried very hard not to think about how he was half-naked. I slid my legs in next to his and when my feet touched the side of his legs he hissed, "Your toes are frozen!" I couldn't help the giggle that escaped from me, but it was quickly cut off by more thunder. He wrapped his warm arms around me and his hand brushed through my hair calmingly. My nose was at his collarbone in our position and his necklace was pushing into my breasts he was holding me so tight. "Relax, you are safe. This will pass as all storms do. Join me in the fade Fallen. I would love to see you there. As unique as you are here, I have no doubt you will be a sight to behold in the fade. Vir sumeil," his voice reassured me and I had to convince myself that my heart was pounding so fiercely from fear of the storm alone. He smelled of the outside and another muskier scent that was both distinctly male and Solas at the same time. I nuzzled deeper into his neck and relaxed my body. My last conscious thought was about how foolish it was to become so attached to the ultimate betrayer.

 _I was in my meadow again, but the tainted feeling that the demon had left behind last time I was here was gone. There was simply peace and my wildflowers. I was pleased to see that I was dressed more modestly as well in my red sundress that hadn't survived the trip into Thedas. I sighed in contentment and sat down in the grass enjoying the breeze that blew my curls away from my face. From the edge of the forest surrounding my meadow, I saw Solas appear. He was wearing a distinctly elven tunic in a shade of green with leaf patterns at the hems. He had on what appeared to be a pair of soft matching leggings and his usual foot wraps as well. His eyes were searching my space critically and when they landed on me I waved shyly._

 _When he was close enough, he sat down across from me. "This is a lovely space that you have here da'len. Is this a place from your home?" he inquired curiously. I felt a wide smile on my lips, "No, not that I remember anyways. This I just what I imagine my 'happy place' to be like when I go there mentally." He looked a little put out by my response. Clearly, it still bothered him that nothing could be found on my past. "Da'len means child doesn't it?" I asked redirecting the conversation. "Or little one," he replied. I raised an eyebrow, "Oh and which am I to you?" He smirked knowingly at me, "A bit of both I believe." I rolled my eyes, "What's the elven word for old man?" He laughed out boldly and I found that I enjoyed the sound very much. "If it pleases you call me hahren. It means elder," he provided with sarcasm._

 _"Hmmm, jokes on you hahren. I think it suits you," I joked wickedly. He picked a nearby flower and twirled it absent-mindedly, "How old are you da'len?" "I am twenty-six and how old are you hahren?" I answered throwing the ball back into his court. I wondered how honest he would be, and he surprised me with his response. "I am older than twice your age." "You don't look it at all," I answered back promptly. He smiled back evenly, "That doesn't bother you?" "What? Your age or you not looking it?" I countered. He chuckled, "Either?" "Well, we have all assumed that you were older just not that much," I shrugged, "It really doesn't bother me other than I feel my experiences could never measure up to yours, and I see nothing wrong with your appearance. Didn't elves used to be immortal anyways?" His smile faltered and I instantly regretted digging in such a way. "We once were it is true. We certainly age slower than humans and dwarves on average now. Even you, who are only half-blooded, look younger than your actual years," he allowed with pain in his voice._

 _As someone who had played Trespasser, I knew what Solas was capable of and what he had done. After my first play through, I had been infuriated with him, but over time and especially now looking into his broken eyes I felt for him. He wasn't evil, but simply misguided. I didn't believe that I was special enough to get him to change his plans. If Lavellan hadn't been enough then my ass certainly wouldn't be, but maybe I could return the favor and offer him comfort. "Could you tell me about them?" I asked. His blue eyes met my brown ones and he looked pleased, "You honestly wish to know?" I missed the truth with story as I was now used to doing, "My mother never spoke about her people. I always felt like she was ashamed of me." Solas nodded in understanding, "To be different is to inspire fear. I will tell you what I have learned in the fade. Eventually, I can show you as you master the fade." I smiled warmly at him, "I would like that very much." He spent hours in the fade that first night telling me about Arlathan and the ancient elves that walked it._

When I awoke, the tent was starting to glow from the soft light of dawn. Even though I had been in the fade with Solas for what felt like hours, I could tell that my body was still very exhausted. My legs were threaded through his, and somehow we had ended up spooning. My back was to his chest and his arms were wrapped firmly around me. It had been three years since I had last slept next to a man and I had forgotten how nice it could feel. I felt him begin to stir behind me just as I saw a dwarf pop up from his bedroll. Varric stretched his arms up as high as he could and blinked around sleepily. When his eyes landed on us, I felt my cheeks burn intensely. "Well, well, well what have we here?" the storyteller mocked.

Translations

 **Da'len: little child; little one**

 **Vir sumeil: we are close**

 **Hahren: elder; leader**

 **Arlathan: the major city of Elvhenan**

 **Resource**

 _http/dragonage./wiki/Elven_language_


	10. One of the People

**The Cost of Pride**

Megatoxic

 _*Disclaimer: Bioware/DA characters and themes are not mine!*_

[This chapter has a touch of in game dialogue, but I tried to spice it up a bit to fit Fallen's situation. Also, the POV switches as well.]

 **Chapter 10: _One of the People_**

I was aware that I was slipping back to my body, and I felt the usual disoriented feeling that accompanies that transition. I also felt the warmth of another body pressed against my chest and held securely in place by my own arms. I also heard a laughing dwarf, "Oh, this is good stuff! Why didn't you wake me up so I could join you two?" he teased at Fallen who was clearly awake by her rapidly beating heart and the embarrassment I could feel coming off of her. She sat up swiftly and began to gather a fur around her bare freckled shoulders. "Don't ask to sleep in our tent anymore Varric! You snore yourself anyways like a damn elephant in a mine," she said earnestly and her cheeks were a deep blood red.

Before I could ask what an elephant was another voice yelled in from outside our tent, "Hey! There's a stream nearby lethallan. You coming to get cleaned up or do you prefer to smell like rancid nug?" "Of course," Fallen yelled back quickly, "I'll be right there Ell." She swiftly gathered her needed belongings and headed toward the exit. She turned around at the last second as if she wanted to say something to me, and then she seemed to decide against the action and simply left. Varric cleared his throat to get my attention and when I turned to look at him with my still sleepy eyes I saw that he was sitting up in the dim light with a quill in one hand and a roll of parchment on his lap. "Okay, I need details Chuckles," he prompted without even looking up in my direction. I rolled my eyes at him and sat up in my roll, "There is nothing to tell Varric. She was scared of the storm last night and I offered her comfort. I also joined her in the fade and it is easier to find someone thus so if you are touching them." Varric looked at me pointedly, "And what happened to you telling her your intentions?"

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes before answering him, "I have decided against it for the moment." Varric shook his head at me and 'tutted,' "This is going to be a slow burn isn't it?" I ignored his question as I got up and began to dress and gather mine and Fallen's belongings together. The truth was that I had been very intent on seducing her before the attack that we had experienced. Since then, things had changed between us. The bond we had been forming was getting stronger. We shared power effortlessly now, or more like I let her use mine when she was in need, and even with her gone down to the stream I could _sense_ her. At the moment, she was feeling relaxed and calm no doubt due to getting clean and her elven friend's company. As the more powerful party in our bond, I had no doubt I would be able to sense her in such a way for the rest of her short life.

I knew that logically I would still use the bond to get what I needed from her, but I was terrified of what that would do to me. I had never experience this before personally, but I knew from having known other couples that this was a serious attachment and I would not be left unmarked by it. Perhaps this, to find it now and with someone I was bound to destroy, was part of my punishment for what I had done. No doubt, Mythal was laughing at me from afar. I needed to speak with Wisdom soon. At any rate, simply seducing her and walking away without any consequences was no longer an option.

Maybe an hour later, I had all of our travel things packed and I was waiting patiently for the others to be ready to go. I ran my hand over my scalp and checked my stubble. Varric kept throwing glances my way like he had more to say to me, but he never got the courage to do so. Cassandra soon joined us as the sun was finally up over the edge of the horizon. She looked tired, but ready to get back to Haven. I could not help but to agree with that sentiment. The sound of feminine laughter reached us, but I felt her before I saw her. Fallen and the Herald looked freshly washed and they were giggling about something. I could feel contentment and friendship rolling off of her through our connection, and I was thankful that she could not sense me without my allowance. She had a dark green tunic on with black pants and a matching black jacket. Her freshly washed hair was up in a way I had not seen her wear before. A tie held it up high on her head and her wet curls bounced down to meet her shoulders.

The Herald smiled at us, "Well good morning! Are you guys ready to start the trek back?" Her bright green eyes looked around at us expectantly, and I felt the mark on her hand surge lightly. She gave no outward sign that she felt it, but I knew it had to hurt. "I believe we are ready. It will take us some time to get back so we mine as well get started," the seeker supplied. She handed the Herald's travel pack to her, and I did the same with Fallen's. She took her bag, but would not meet my gaze, "Thank you Solas." "Of course da'len," I replied and I was pleased when I felt shyness from her. The Herald had paused at the use of my endearment, but quickly pretended not to have noticed anything.

It would take us a little over a week to get back to Haven. It would have been shortened if it were not for all the people that the Dalish woman deemed worthy of help. We brought an elven widow her husband's ring back, closed two more rifts, discovered magical skulls that led us to matching shards of the likes I had never seen, and we handled several groups of bandits. While on the road, we slept on the ground with someone always keeping watch. Fallen would set the wards and I would meet her in the fade. We remained physically close at night, but we had not shared blankets again. The Herald suspected something had changed though, and I got to listen in on them the fifth day of our journey back.

I had stepped away with the excuse of getting food, which I did, but I was also testing the air. One of my devices was close. I could sense it was maybe a mile away and I had wanted to narrow down its location. When I made my way back to camp, I had two hares for supper and some freshly picked berries. My feet were silent on the forest floor and I always moved like a shadow in the wild. When I was closer to camp, I noticed that Fallen and the Herald were just at the edge of the woods. I could just make them out through the leaves and my elven hearing allowed me to pick up their conversations easily from quite a distance away.

"It's like watching a wolf and a halla in the midst of a stare down," the Herald was saying to Fallen, "he's the wolf and you're the halla lethallan. That man is interested, but afraid you will run." Fallen gave a hollow laugh, "You have no idea how accurate that might be Ell, but not in the way you think." "How so?" the redhead asked voicing my own internal question. "He doesn't have romantic feelings for me. He simply seeks to use me," she replied sadly. I felt her sadness at her words and a flicker of shame quickly followed it. "What do you mean?" the Dalish woman asked angrily. "Has he done something to you because…" she was cut off mid-tangent by Fallen. "No, no. He has done nothing improper. It is just the way of the world," she had a look on her face as if she was struggling to convey her thoughts to her friend.

"Solas has a passion for all things elven, and I am a taint on that. On what your people once were and what they stood for. I have no doubt that he would use me if I allowed him, but that is all it would ever be. I could be nothing more to him, and I have accepted that," she said in an honest and plain tone. The Herald seemed to consider that for a moment, "Well if that is really how he feels and thinks then I am disappointed in him. He also doesn't deserve you." Fallen shook her head and offered a small smile, "Don't worry about me. Bless your heart, but you already have so much to worry about. You have to save the world you know!" Both women laughed at that, but it sounded hollow. "Besides we need to get back to Haven so that you can train more with a certain commander," Fallen teased. The Herald rolled her eyes at that and starting heading back towards camp.

Fallen lingered for a few minutes. She wrapped her arms about herself, and I felt loneliness roll off of her in waves. I understood that emotion so perfectly. Everything she had said had been true, and I hated the situation and myself for it. I decided to speak with her, and I moved towards her deliberately making noise for her round ears to pick up on. "Oh Solas," she said as I stepped into her sight, "you have dinner. Here, I'll take them to camp and cook them." She moved forward to take the hares from my hand and I could see all the golden freckles that dotted the bridge of her nose. "Are you okay da'len?" I asked already knowing she was not. She smiled at my lightly, "Of course hahren. I am just fine."

~*~*~

On the sixth day of our journey back, Solas spoke with Ellana before we set out. I did not catch the whole conversation, but I did catch that it was concerning the elven artifacts. After they were done talking, Ellana addressed the rest of us. "Solas believes that there is an elven artifact nearby that could help strengthen the veil. We will check that out before we continue on. It is not far," she directed smoothly. Solas kept an impassive look on his face while she spoke. "And just how do you know about these artifacts and what they do?" Cassandra asked him. "My journeys and the memories I have seen in the fade," he responded smoothly. "Well… lead the way!" Ellana encouraged readily.

Cassandra looked as if she wanted to argue, but Varric grabbed her elbow, "Oh come on seeker, Chuckles is a good guy. Will it kill you to have a little faith in him?" The seeker shrugged off his hand and crossed her arms at him, "You would be surprised what can look innocent enough, but actually be deadly." Ellana popped to my side dramatically and grabbed my arms, "Do hurry up you guys! The old man already started without us." I looked over the redhead's shoulder to see that he was indeed leaving us behind. I sighed heavily and linked my arm with hers, "Alright then. Let's go."

I did love traveling with Ellana. Not only had be become my best friend in Thedas, but being a Dalish elf had given her an interesting set of knowledge and skills. She educated me on everything from the names of plants and trees to the stories of their gods. She really was a great storyteller and would capture even Cassandra and Varric's attention with her stories and knowledge. I was also keenly aware that during these times Solas would very pointedly ignore her and remain silent. I figured that was probably the best course of action for the hand that he was playing.

We had not been walking for very long when the sound of a small skirmish met my ears. I saw Ellana's twitch and I knew it probably sounded much louder to her and Solas. She gave me a small smile and slipped into stealth as she approached a small hill. It looked very familiar and on top of it a lone figure was fighting off a couple of demons. The others moved to follow our leader. I threw up a barrier around our part members, and right as I was pulling my staff off of my back I felt it. It felt like a pull or a tug coming from the hill. As if something had been waiting for me a long time and now that I was in reach refused to let go. I was vaguely aware after a minute or so that the fight was over as I crested the small hill. I was so intensely focused on the blocked entrance in front of us that everything else had disappeared from my awareness.

Solas joined my side with a curious glance in my direction and that forced me to focus. An elven mage woman was standing in front of us. She was wearing a distinctly elven armor set and the markings of June rested across her face. She looked in mine and Solas' direction and I saw a look of utter disgust and contempt pass over her face as her gaze met mine. I instantly retracted in on myself and took a step away from her only to feel Solas' hand on my lower back. "Anneth ara," Solas directed at her and her scowl only seemed to deepen at his greeting. Solas and I were clearly unwelcome as far as she was concerned. Ellana made a point to place herself in front of us, "What are you doing out her lethallan?" She spoke lightly to the strange woman and I noticed she had made her accent thicker. The new mage's focus turned to Ellana and her face softened considerably, "I am Mihris, first of clan Virnehn." She directed her next comment at Solas and I, "I would not have imagined one of the people traveling with such as these."

I felt sick to my stomach at her words and ignorance, but mostly I just wanted to launch a fireball straight into her ugly face. Ellana brushed the comment off lightly, but there was a bit of a biting tone to her words when she responded. "We are with the Inquisition and _anyone_ who stands for good and justice may join. As _one of the people_ , I would accept no less," she had a smile on her face as she delivered it and it sounded like she was killing her with kindness and words. Mihris didn't look in the least bit sorry, but seemed to catch her drift. "There is something of importance in the cave ahead, and I will have it. Perhaps, there could be something for your party as well," Mihris said intensely. I wanted to laugh at this ignorant woman. We weren't good enough to be around except when it might save her Dalish ass. Solas' eyes met my own and his lips twitched in response. He was clearly thinking the same things as I. when playing the game, I had a hard time understanding why he couldn't stand the Dalish, but this encounter was making that reasoning very clear.

"I believe you are right," Ellana responded evenly, "we shall join together for now." The two Dalish elves began walking towards the blocked entrance, but not before Ellana gave me an apologetic glance. As they continued on, Casandra and Varric, who had been silent up until that moment, looked warily in their direction. "Is that how most Dalish are?" Varric asked confused. "It is shocking. You would think as easily as they are discriminated against that they would be more accepting," Cassandra added. As if on cue, Mihris' voice floated back to us, "The way ahead is blocked. You, flat-ear, can you manage it?" I saw Solas' face darken, and I seriously wanted to tell that clueless woman who she was fucking with.

 **Translations:**

 **Lethallan:** someone with whom one is familiar

 **Da'len:** little child; little one

 **Hahren:** elder; leader

 **Aneth ara:** friendly greeting

 **Resource**

 _http/dragonage./wiki/Elven_language_


	11. Lost Treasures

**The Cost of Pride**

Megatoxic

 _*Disclaimer: Bioware owns DA and its characters and themes. Fallen is mine, but completely inspired by my favorite RPG.*_

[There's some more in game dialogue here and another POV switch. I've discovered that Fallen and Solas like to take over whenever they feel like it, and I'm simply along for the ride.]

 **Chapter 11: _Lost Treasures_**

I looked at Solas and watched as he took a second to collect himself before responding to her, "Ma nuvenin, da'len," he finally responded with a hint of a condescending tone. When he called her 'da'len' it sounded nothing like when he used it for me. To my shock, he grabbed my hand and pulled me up to the blockage beside him. I was fascinated when I felt him pull from the fade and move the large rocks so easily. Mihris sniffed and moved past us briskly with her way cleared. Knowing what was inside gave me an intense sense of satisfaction and this was especially true when I heard her curse softly upon entering.

I couldn't help the giggle that escaped me at her distress. Ellana winked at me and rushed in to help her followed by the other two. Solas raised an eyebrow at my amusement and I grinned back at him slyly, "I hope she stepped on a giant spider." He barked out a laugh and I allowed him to grab my hand again and pull me inside behind him. The others had quickly disposed of the two demons that had been waiting by the entrance. Ellana was sifting through some rubble at the end of the entrance hall and my attention immediately went to the empty bracket on the wall that looked as if it was missing a torch. It seemed to be buzzing slightly as if it remembered what fire felt like. I detached my hand from Solas' and approached it mesmerized.

"Afraid of the dark are you alas da'len?" Mihris asked spitefully from behind me. This was something I didn't understand. I knew what 'da'len' meant, but I was unsure what 'alas' meant. It didn't take looking at Solas and Ellana's angry faces to know that this was some sort of insult. I was not going to prance around the subject with the bitch and quite frankly I was tired of just taking shit from her. "Do you have a problem with me?" I asked her boldly.

By the look on her face, I was guessing that she never thought I'd actually ask her that question. Did people like me really just take that shit all the time? "I have no problem with you in particular. In fact, I'm more upset with your parents for creating you. Surely, they would have known you would be tainted. As it is, you will never fit in anywhere," she answered in a tone as if she was explaining the weather outside and not another living creature with feelings. My temper flared and with it my magic, "Oh, well I'm _so sorry_ we can't all be pure elven such as you." She sneered back at me aggressively, "Yes, what a shame." I raised my hand to strike her and I stepped forward in her direction and a gauntleted hand stilled my arm. I followed it to meet Cassandra's dark eyes. "That is what she wants," she whispered to me soothingly. My cheeks blazed red in anger as I lowered my hand. I knew the three elves in the area had heard the seeker's whispered words.

"Solas," I redirected turning my back on the Dalish bigot and staring intently at the bracket again, "What is this? It's almost like I can hear and feel a buz coming from it." He moved close to me and I felt his chest touch my back lightly. He was so warm and a faint hint of elfroot hit my nose. It reminded me of mint or eucalyptus. "It is vielfire da'len. It was used by ancient elves to convey hidden messages and light the way to many hidden discoveries," his voice soothed my frayed nerves a bit, and I tilted my head back in his direction. "Show me please hahren?" I asked softly. He gently took my right hand and passed it over the bracket causing it to light up in a bright green flame. I was also able to feel his power through our connection and how he wove the spell to light it.

A smile came over my face, and when I had taken the vielfire from the wall the light illuminated Solas' face briefly. I couldn't interpret the look it revealed on his face momentarily. "See Chuckles, I told you Halfling was an easy enough girl to amuse," Varris piped up with a laugh. I giggled again and turned my attention to him, "Be careful Varric. Something tells me this stuff burns. It's magical ya know." He put his hands up defensively and took a step back, "Oh no you don't. I've already told you two to keep your magical shit to yourselves." An irritated voice broke through our banter, "We should continue on." Mihris turned her back to us and started down and entrance to the left. Ellana rolled her eyes, "Of course, do lead the way." The two Dalish disappeared that was with Cassandra behind them and Varric went right with Solas and I.

We stepped into a cathedral looking area and I gasped at the feeling of the room. There was no doubt in my mind that this was once a very magical and special place. I could feel that pull on my senses again and the urge to locate the source pushed me forward. Of course, a few steps into the room and demons and wraiths appeared to slow us down. I was only vaguely aware that we killed them swiftly because at this point the pull was almost painful. "Da'len?" Solas asked softly from my side. I could tell he was worried so I gave him a reassuring smile, "I can feel your artifact. It's calling to me."

The pull led me to the end of the hall to a rail of some sort. A vase with a skull and candle on top were to the right and slightly to the left was the artifact. It was round with the oddest cubed shapes coming out the sides. There was nothing extraordinary about it other than the feeling it was giving me. I reached out with my hand without thinking and pushed my mana down and into the device. There was a clicking sound that reminded me of a lock being turned, and then the device lit up. The pull stopped and I let out a breath in relief. "Very good. The veil will be stronger here now," Solas said proudly while directing the oddest look my way. It looked as if he couldn't decide if he wanted to hug me or yell at me.

I turned to look at the others and I found them all staring at me. Solas had a proud smirk now and the others all had a varying array of wonder and fear laid bare for me to see. I felt a moment's concern that Mihris was nowhere to be seen and then she spoke up. "Well it looks as if the ancestors have left something for me as well," she said in a greedy tone. I spotted her next to a broken pot with a golden amulet in her hand. "What is it?" Ellana asked curiously. Her beautiful red hair was escaping its braid and she had demon ichor on her clothes. She was still beautiful though and I pushed down my irrational blossom of envy. "It is an amulet of power," Solas supplied evenly. Mihris looked his way viciously, "Our need for each other is done. Good luck on your endeavor with the hole in the sky. You look as if you'll need it." Solas barely batted an eyelash before responding to her, "Ma halani, ma glandival. Vir enasalin." I had heard this line in the game before, but I had never bothered to look up its meaning. I found myself wishing I had. Mihris hesitated for about half a second before glancing at Ellana and then back at Solas, "I… perhaps you're right. Here. Take it." She placed the amulet into Solas' outstretched hand and then very quickly made her retreat.

He turned to hand the amulet to Ellana, "Here Herald take it and use it as you will." She shook her head and stepped back, "No Solas, you have earned it. I also need to apologize to you and Fallen for her treatment of you both. In no way does she represent how all Dalish feel." Solas' eyes looked very sad as he responded with, "I wish I could believe that Herald, but my personal experiences have told me otherwise." She looked at me pleadingly and I gave her a small smile," I don't have much experience with the Dalish, but I know you don't feel that way about me lethallan." "I for one and shocked," Cassandra interjected. "Any elf I have ever met has wanted better for their people." Varric looked on sagely, "Thing about that is everyone defines who their 'people' are differently." I felt anger in my tone as I joined in the conversation, "Wouldn't it be better if everyone realized that we are all capable of feeling the same things? That would make us all equal." "It would indeed da'len," Solas answered softly.

After an hour had passed, we were back on the road to Haven. We were all relatively silent and each in our own thoughts. Then I started giggling uncontrollably at a realization I had just had. Ellana looked back at my curiously with wide eyes, "What in the world is so funny?" Meanwhile, I had bent over and was holding my knees to keep myself from falling because I was laughing so hard. "Okay, well we've lost her," Varric joked. They had stopped as well, and were all three watching me skeptically. I wiped a tear from my eye and addressed Solas, "It just occurred to me that you spoke to her almost entirely in elven." The others looked extremely confused, but Solas only chuckled. I continued on, "She was basically giving you shit about being a lesser elf than her and yet I think she said maybe two words in the language." He tilted his head to the side regarding me, "I have learned that the best way to make someone feel small-minded is to give them something to think about later. Something that will make them second guess their stance." His words broke my laughter and forced a sense of seriousness to fall over me. After all, that was something I was hoping to do to him. "I will remember that in the future," I replied seriously. I could sense his and the other's confusion as my mood had changed so suddenly, but I was now worrying about my future here in Thedas.

*-*-*

When we finally saw the gates to Haven, I let out a long breath that I did not even know I was holding. After the experience with the Dalish wanderer and Fallen with my device, I needed the change. I could finally do some catching up with my agents and do more research in the fade about the breach and my foci. Fallen and the Herald were of the same mind apparently because they looked at each other and squealed "Bath!" at the same time before running up the steps to the gate. I shook my head slightly after them. "Ah, to be young and carefree," Varric joked pointing in their direction. "Good hygiene practices do not have an age limit Varric," I joked back good-naturedly. "Oh! You wound me!" he exclaimed while grabbing his chest dramatically. "I must check in with the others," Cassandra said dryly as she strode past us headed for the Chantry. I left Varric by his tent and hurried to my, _our_ , cabin. It was gloriously empty and just as we had left it.

I quickly put my things away and got a fire going. Through our bond, I could sense that Fallen was content and happy which put me more at ease. I could go seek out an agent knowing that she was okay. I suppose that I should have been concerned by that thought, but I was beginning to accept the bond as a part of myself. No use fighting something that is inevitable. Once the fire was going good and the space was getting nice and warm, I grabbed a long dark cloak out of my dresser and pulled it on. The inside was lined with wolf pelt and I found it extremely comforting and warm if a bit morbid considering my real identity. A quickly spell cast over myself would make me nearly invisible and likely to be forgotten if seen, and a rune on the pads of my feet would keep my feet from making prints in the snow.

I made my way down and out of Haven. At the gates, I waited until a servant passed out of them and I followed closely behind her. She looked around startled as I passed by her and headed to the right passing the soldiers and remaining Templars. The mountains were silent and I felt at peace for the first time in days. After a few minutes, I reached for my jawbone and called out. I was seeking Kalen as he was my best agent since I had awoken, and I also needed to speak with him concerning Fallen.

I had to wait quite a bit for him to join me, but after roughly half an hour I saw him approaching from the direction of Haven. Once he was close enough, I removed my concealment spell and he bowed to my slightly before speaking, "Aneth ara, Fen'Hahrel." "Kalen, please tell me you have good news," I stated eagerly. He smiled, but it was a tight one. "We have located more of your artifacts as you had requested," he removed a map from the inside of his scout coat and handed it to me. "The ones located so far are marked on this map. We still have nothing on Fallen or your foci, but we believe that there is still hope." He looked at me with loyalty written all over his face, "We will not give up the search. We want the rise of our people once more." I reached out and squeezed his shoulder in comradery, "And so we shall persevere."

After letting go of his shoulder, I placed my hands behind my back and redirected him, "Now we must discuss something else Kalen." "Anything my lord," he replied earnestly. I waved away the title and dove in, "I will be getting _closer_ to Fallen. I intend to gain her trust however I must, and then make her an unknowing agent. Her position with the Herald could be very valuable." The younger elf did not miss a beat, "You will seduce her." I inclined my head slightly in his direction, "If I must." Kalen seemed to accept this information casually, but I knew enough of deceit to tell her was bluffing and this bothered him.

"I will tell the other agents. We will make sure she is watched and protected," he stated. "It bothers you?" I asked curiously. He shifted his weight and looked at the ground, "Ir abelas." "Do not be," I supplied readily. "I honestly do not relish hurting her as this eventually will. Please know that I do not do it lightly. She still has the blood of the people in her veins and despite her unknown past I can recognize a good person when I see one," I said. Kalen met my stare, "She is not like other women I have met." I laughed, "It might do you some good that she turned you down." The tips of his ears tinged pink slightly and I patted him on the back. "All good things with time. Return now before you are missed and keep up the work," I commanded. "Dareth shiral," he responded with a bow and turned back toward Haven. I really needed to break all of my agents from that nonsensical bowing. It reminded me of darker days.

I was getting ready to conceal myself again when my senses were interrupted by an intense flash of anger. An anger that was quickly followed by an equal measure of fear. It took me a second to process that I was feeling Fallen's emotions and that they were more intense than normal. I quickly concealed myself and fade stepped back into Haven. While passing the templars, several reached for their swords, but with not being able to see me they really would not do much good. Luckily, the gate was open and before I knew it I was in front of my residence. I planned to go in and cast off my spell and cloak so that I could go to her.

I was so focused on this plan that I did not sense her emotions getting closer and when I slipped into the door I was surprised to find her in front of my side of our shared dresser. She whipped around at the door opening and closing with a startled expression on her face. I realized that she could not see me of course and I noticed that her face was wet with tears. Her washed and drying hair was down over her shoulders and breasts. She was wearing a black long sleeved tunic with dark green leggings. Even with her face marred by tears and conflicting emotions she was lovely to me.

She seemed to accept that she might have imagined the door moving on its own and she turned her attention to the objects in her hands. She was holding the strange keys and the flower patterned object that was in her pockets when I had healed her. I could see my drawer open behind her and I felt a flash of my own anger at her for going through _my_ things. Her smile voice broke through my anger, "Why? Why would he hide them? He hasn't said anything to me about them." She looked at my bed as if it might answer her in my stead. She gathered her lost treasures to her chest and surprised me when she climbed into my bed. She curled herself around my pillow and closed her eyes. She had not set any wards as I had taught her to do, but still I felt her slip into the fade.

 **Translations**

 **Ma nuvenin, da'len:** As you wish, little child

 **Alas da'len:** dirt child (slur for half-bloods)

 **Da'len:** little child; little one

 **Hahren:** elder; leader

 **Ma halani, ma glandival. Vir enasalin.:** Help me, in good faith. This is the path to victory.

 **Lethallan:** someone with whom one is familiar

 **Aneth ara:** friendly greeting

 **Ir abelas:** I'm sorry

 **Dareth shiral:** Safe journey

 **Resource**

 _http/dragonage./wiki/Elven_language_


	12. Speak of the Devil

**The Cost of Pride**

Megatoxic

 _*Disclaimer: I do not own any Bioware/DA characters or themes, but the noteworthy Halfling that was dropped into Thedas did come from my imagination.*_

 **[Possible trigger in this chapter via sexual harassment.]**

 **Chapter 12: _Speak of the Devil_**

I stood there for a moment debating on my next course of action before common sense prevailed and got me moving. I discarded the cloak and my concealment spell and then I went to work setting the wards to protect us in the fade. I could understand her distress at the situation, but I still intended to have a conversation with her about not setting the wards. Once the wards were set and my cloak back in the bottom of the dresser, I turned to look at her. Her brow was furrowed and she looked stressed even in her sleep.

I pulled off my long tunic and my jawbone necklace. Once my foot wraps were gone, I was left in only my leggings. I could have taken her bed since she had occupied mine, but I really had not been lying to the dwarf when I told him that physical contact made it easier to find someone in the fade. I grabbed the folded blanket at the foot of my bed and I threw it over both of us as I climbed in next to her. She was so warm and as I settled in next to her she moved closer to me with my pillow.

A few of her wild curls had fallen into her when she moved so I brushed them back behind her ear. As my fingertips crested the round curve of her ear they paused there. They were pretty much the only difference between her and any elf in this age appearance-wise. Anyone who met her could easily guess at her heritage and yet she acted as if she had not lived with the stigma of it her whole life. She shifted underneath my palm and mumbled in her sleep, but I did manage to catch one word… "Solas." Now I was intrigued as to what she was up to in the fade even more. I closed my eyes and slipped in quickly to find her.

*

 _It really was stupid of me to enter the fade without setting the wards, but the shock of seeing that Solas had hid my stuff from me had spurred me into being irrational. I suppose that I shouldn't have been so surprised knowing who he was, but I still found it to be a hard pill to swallow. So that was how I found myself in the fade right outside of the gates of Haven. It looked the same as reality except that it was deserted. There was not a soul to be seen and I was pleased with the change to have some alone time._

 _I made my way down and past our usual training spot to the edge of the lake. It really was very beautiful even though I had never been fond of snow, ice, or the cold in general. I hugged my arms around myself and said his name outloud, "Solas." What was I going to do about him? My life at that point was pretty much tied to his, and he was absolutely a dangerous person to be linked to. He had every intention of destroying the world that I was beginning to love, and above all the world that I was now a part of. That meant he would destroy me as well._

 _I don't know how long I stood there simply **being** before a voice broke through my isolation and lonliness, "That was reckless Fallen. I half expected you to be surrounded by demons by now." I turned to face him and cut right to the heart of the situation, "Why hide my belongings?" His clear blue eyes gave me a calculated look as if he was weighing my worth. "They are from a place that I have never seen or heard of which has led me to believe that you are as well," he replied. "The materials they are made of were enough to convince me that you have traveled far," he looked down at the ground and back up at me, "if the others had discovered them it would have put you in more danager."_

 _I took in his usual humble apostate appearance and came at him from an honest angle, "Sometimes danger comes from the most unsuspecting of places." He stepped forward and lightly rubbed my arms which I still had tightly wrapped around myself, "I will not hurt you. I understand if you cannot or will not share about your past. I have grown fond of you during our time together da'len." In that moment, I wanted to believe him so I simply allowed myself to do so as dumb as I knew that to be._

 _Stepping forward, I settled into his now open arms. I felt comfort and relief surge through me as his arms closed around me tight. Every inch of my knew that this was foolish, but I needed this so bad that I ignored all logic. My tears had soon wet the front of his tunic and his hand was running soothingly through my hair. "The future is always intimidating. It has been a long time since I have considered sharing mine with someone," his husky voice spoke out above me. I lifted my chin to look at him, "You're only as alone as you allow yourself to be Solas." He smiled softly and kissed my forehead which made my heart beat faster. "Those are wise words indeed," he said. I needed to direct us away from such an intimate topic so I distracted him in the best way I knew how, "Tell me a story?" He asked me, "What do you know of Arlathan?"_

*

"Oh, why do we have to keep training?" Ellana moaned to me over breakfast four days later. We were at _The Singing Maiden_ which was always relatively empty in the morning. She was wearing her hair in a tight bun on top of her head and a maroon set of rogue leathers that matched her coloring perfectly. I had opted for wearing my hair down and a simple black tunic with dark leather pants and a matching vest. I had taken to wearing my hair down the last couple of days because I had noticed that a certain someone seemed to like it that way.

"Come now Ell, I was thinking that you were rather fond of a certain Commander in charge of your routine," I teased lightly. A slight pink spread over her cheeks as she shot back at me, "Really? Well last I heard Solas was still overseeing your training. Is he doing that from the same bed now?" my own cheeks flashed red in response and as we both looked at one another we broke into a fit of laughter. I took a drink of my water and when I put my mug down I noticed that said Commander had entered the tavern. He looked around lost for a second before his eyes landed on our table and he began making his way to our location.

"Speak of the devil," I said softly. "Who?" Ellana asked. When she turned the direction I was looking her eyes widened slightly. I giggled and winked at her, "Yep, there's absolutely nothing there right?" She looked as if she was about to retort when suddenly Cullen was at our table. "Good morning Herald," he turned and nodded in my direction, "lady Fallen." I shook my head at him, "I'm no lady Commander. Fallen will do just fine." He replied quickly, "Of course."Ellana appeared especially nervous all of the sudden, "Is everything alright Cul… Commander?"

The blond man smiled at her warmly, "Of course. I simply came to take you to the war room the others are waiting so that we can plan our next move." Ellana scarfed down the rest of her eggs and got to her feet, "Alright, let's go then!" Cullen waved her towards the door and told me goodbye politely. Ellana left with the handsome ex-templar and I was left alone at the table.

I finished my own eggs and pushed my chair back. I waved in farewell to Flissa and made my way out of Haven and towards the lake. Ever since my lake encounter with Solas in the fade, I had been spending more time there. It was so serene and if I could ignore the green glow from the breach above reflecting off the lake, I could imagine I was somewhere else entirely.

 **[possible trigger]**

I had just passed the gates and was making my way past the soldiers when I heard a whistle directed my way. Apparently, men did that here in Thedas as well. My cheeks burned a little in embarrassment, but I kept moving and didn't even look in the direction of the soldiers. "Oi, you mage wench! What's the matter? My ears not pointed enough for you?" I glanced over to see it was a big burly soldier that had addressed me. He looked hairy, sweaty, and like hygiene was not very high on his list of priorities. I was almost to the edge of the line of soldiers training, and I desperately wanted to turn and run back into Haven.

The man seemed excited that he now had my attention, "What's the matter pet? Not much to say to that? Well, I can promise you that I may not have knife-ears, but I got something else that more than makes up for that!" Several of the men nearby snickered at that, but a female in the ranks spoke up, "That's enough Jon." Jon ignored her and took a step in my direction, "What do you say pretty little thing? Me and a few of the guys could show you a good time and we could even pay you for it."

Anger flared through my sense at an alarming pace, "If you touch me pig, I will light you on fire from the inside out." He laughed darkly, "You better not bitch. I know a templar or two who could keep you under control for me as long as they got a turn." I instantly felt like I might vomit at the thought and summoned a fireball into my right palm. "Is there a problem here?" a familiar voice asked from behind me. I turned to see Kalen with a blond elven woman standing next to him. She was also wearing the scout armor of Leliana's people that I always saw Kalen in.

 **[end]**

I relinquished my fireball and stepped close to him and the woman. Jon seemed to mellow out at their appearance, but he wasn't completely over himself. "Oh nothing at all. We was just trying to figure out the lasses fascination with pointy ears. We didn't want her thinking that she's took good for us," he said disgustingly. "But she is shem," Kalen said sincerely. He grabbed my arm and pulled me away from them swiftly.

The blond woman stayed close by my side as we moved back into the gates and I noticed that even though her physical appearance was casual she was actually on high alert. Her eyes were taking in everything and I was positive she could spring into attack mode in a moment's notice if she had too. She had to be another agent of Solas'. The two led me up towards the Chantry and we stopped a few feet from the requisition tent.

"Thank you Kalen, and…" I paused and Kalen supplied helpfully, "Ila." I directed at the woman, "And Ila, thank you as well." She gave me a small nod and began walking down the path and away from us. "Go inside and find your friend," Kalen told me firmly. I supposed that he was still upset with me for turning him down as his demeanor seemed a little off. I turned away from him and was a little surprised when his hand grabbed my forearm suddenly, "Be careful around them. Men like that do not forget being humiliated." I nodded at him curtly and withdrew my arm before making my way into the Chantry.

*

Waiting patiently had never been my forte so I paced back and forth outside the war room door as I wanted for Ellana to emerge. Mother Giselle was in the hall as well and kept glancing my way repeatedly. Eventually, she approached me, "Are you unwell child?" I ceased my pacing and turned to her, "No. I am fine Mother." Her warm brown eyes crinkled at their corners when she smiled at me, "You and the Herald are close, yes?" I couldn't help but smile back at her, "She has grown to be a _very_ dear friend of mine Mother." Her robes and hat were rather much to me, but she seemed to glow from within them as if her kindness could seep out of her and into the world around her. "It is good for her to have faithful and honest friends in her position," she told me kindly.

I shifted nervously and glanced down. Ellana had been so kind to me since I first found myself here, and I was entirely unable to be open and honest with her. I was relieved when I heard the war room door open behind us and we both turned to see the Herald and her advisors exiting. They all looked tired, but Ellana's face lit up when she spotted me. "Fallen, lethallan we get to leave again soon!"

I smiled at her encouragingly, "And where do we head next?" She looked at Mother Giselle, "We will go to Val Royeaux to address the clerics and along the way we can stop by Dennett's and get some mounts! The Commander has his men working on their watch towers."

"Hopefully, the Commander can have a _conversation_ with his men about appropriate behavior and its importance," a very cool voice said from behind us. Solas walked to me side and when I looked up at his face it was pointed in Cullen's direction, and he looked like he was very much trying to control his inner wolf. The other advisors were looking at him with shock and Mother Giselle had her mouth agape. "Solas," I said softly, "I am fine." He shook his head 'no' slightly, "This will be addressed ma da'len." My face burned at his possessive endearment and all the eyes on us.

"Just what exactly do you mean by that apostate?" Cullen asked angrily. His own face was red as well and the former templar appeared to be trying to control his inner mage hunter. "I am talking about a solider named Jon under _your_ command who sexually harassed Fallen today while the others looked on as if nothing was wrong. In fact, two of Leliana's people had to step in and escort her to the Chantry doors safely," he retorted viciously. Ellana and Cullen both responded quickly, "Is this true?"

Everyone was looking at me and I felt so humiliated by the whole situation. I felt my eyes water a bit and I simply nodded at their question. Ellana's look turned thunderous, "Banal! I will not stand for this Commander. Your men will not be allowed to do such to any woman under our sworn protection." Leliana moved forward silently, "I concur. You had best handle this Cullen." The Commander met my gaze, "I am sorry Fallen. I do not allow this type of behavior. My men will be addressed and Jon will be dismissed. I give you my word." Solas threatened, "You had better."

"Thank you Commander," I directed at him. "Would you like to come with me to the tavern?" Ellana asked me hopefully. "No thanks Ell, I think I just want to go home," I told her honestly. She looked at me measuring my demeanor and response, "Okay, I'm sure Varric will go with me, but please seek me out if you'd like to talk or what not. We leave in two days' time for our next adventure." Solas and I both acknowledged this and everyone dispersed their separate ways.

Solas walked me to our lodging. "I have made stew again," he stated as he magically and physically locked our door and windows. I smiled at the delicious smell, "I appreciate it Solas, and what you did back there. You didn't have to." He stirred his stew and looked at me seriously, "I most certainly did."

"Well, at any rate, I will have to remember that Kalen can't keep a secret," I joked. He raised his eyebrows skeptically, "Fallen, at least twenty people saw that exchange today. I would have found out eventually as would everyone else. You can trust Kalen and Ila. They are good people." He turned back to the stew as I set about getting our bowls and spoons from the cabinet. My suspicions about the blond elven woman could be confirmed it seemed as I hadn't even mentioned her. I brought the bowls over to him and as he ladled the delicious stew into them I told him, "It is nice to have people I can _trust_."

 **Translations**

 **Da'len:** little child; little one

 **Arlathan:** the major city of Elvhenan

 **Shem:** short for 'shemlen'

 **Lethallan: **someone with whom one is familiar

 **Ma da'len:** my little one

 **Banal:** never

 **Resource**

 _http/dragonage./wiki/Elven_language_


	13. Where I Come From

**The Cost of Pride**

Megatoxic

 _*Disclaimer: Bioware owns all Dragon Age and all it's related themes and characters. Fallen was born from my imagination filled with Dragon Age inspiration.*_

 **Chapter 13: _Where I Come From_**

Two days later and we were on the road again headed back to Master Dennett's farm. The Herald was insistent about us getting mounts, and I have to admit that I was thankful to get for it. I could walk just as much as the next person, but horses would get us to our destinations faster and help our troops in warfare if it came to that.

Before we had left Haven, the soldier Jon had been disgraced publicly and banished from the Inquisition. I had instructed to Kalen to make sure all the agents knew to kill him on sight. When he had told me how the man had harassed Fallen and what it was leading to I almost sought the man out myself.

I had felt her humiliation, fear, and anger through our bond and it would have given me great satisfaction to make him feel the same. Fallen had not wanted to talk about it with me that night or since and she had not been present for the Commander's public address. She insisted that she was fine and that she did not want to make the situation worse by making a public appearance. I had repeated over and over that this was not her fault, but I believed she honestly felt that it was. I was suspicious that the soldier was not the first man to treat her as such.

My thoughts had been confirmed the night before we left Haven, when I was pulled from searching the fade for Wisdom by whimpering and mumbling from her bed. When I got up to check on her, I discovered that she was tangled up in her blanket from being so restless and layer of sweat coated her body. Her hair was a curly, sweaty, tangled mess and her thin black nightdress was sticking to her body rather alluringly from what I could get a glimpse of.

I lightly shook her shoulder in an attempt to rouse her and she instinctively screamed and lashed out at me with her magic. A powerful mind blast had taken me by surprise and I ended up dazed and confused on my backside. She had set up on her bed and backed herself into a corner against the wall. I could sense that she was confused and afraid. I sat up cautiously and approached her with my hands up and palms out so that she could see them. "Fallen, it is Solas. You were just dreaming. Everything is fine and you are safe da'len," I encouraged her. I was very much reminded of the night she created the fire, but that night I was unable to actually _feel_ her as I was now.

Her eyes seemed to focus on me and realization washed over her, "Solas?" I sat down on her bed and brushed sweaty hair from her eyes, "It is I." She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, "I am _so_ sorry. I didn't mean to blast you like that. I thought you were him." I understood about traumatic experiences and asked, "The soldier Jon?" Her big brown eyes regarded me sadly, "No, not him."

My temper flared suddenly, "Has someone else threatened or hurt you da'len? If they have you must tell me." She grabbed my wrist from wherewhere my hand was still running through her damp curls, "No, not here in Haven. Back at home. Before I cam here. I guess what happened with him just brought it back to me." My heart hurt for her, and I could imagine in my mind's eye a young half-blooded woman being easily mistreated and taken advantage of. "Would you like to talk about it?" I asked her. "Not now Solas," she said releasing my wrist and looking down.

"Come here," I motioned her to come closer to me and when she did I turned her gently so that her back was facing me. I had to force my body to control itself as quite a bit of her freckled back and shoulders were exposed to me. I combed my fingers through her curls and began braiding her hair down her back. Her familiar giggle met my ears and she teased me, "Where did you learn to braid hair Solas?" I tied the end of her braid firmly with a scrap of loose leather, "I have not always been bald da'len, and elves tend to have less stricter rules on some of what humans expect as normal gender-wise."

She turned to face me with a serious look, "Do you really think I am a child?" Internally, I responded _yes_. Compared to me, she was a child, but I knew this was not the way she was referring to. I knew that she meant as a woman. "Da'len does mean child, but it also refers to a literal size difference. You are quite short compared to me," I told her gently. "You're very tall for an elf. I wondered at first because I'd never met any elven men, but when I saw you next to Kalen I could really tell," she said. I was indeed tall compared to the quickling elves of this age, but of course I could not tell her that. "Does it bother you?" I asked instead. "No, I like it," she said with a blush.

I smiled and motioned for her to lay back down. She climbed back under the covers closest to the wall and I moved in beside her. I opened my arms for her to enter and she hesitated. I could sense that she was nervous, "Is this not okay?" She reached out and placed her warm, soft palm against my chest, "You're shirtless." I chuckled, "We have slept as thus before." She rolled her eyes in the dark at me, "Yeah, but I didn't _know_ that last time until we woke up."

She sighed and rolled over so that her back was to me. We both moved closer together and I enveloped her in my arms. The feeling was better than I would have ever dared to admit at the time. I felt foolish for everyone I had ever mocked for their vhenan enansal. That is what our bond would have been referred to in Arlathan. The rythmic sound of her breathing leveling out started to lull me to sleep when she surprised me by speaking, "Solas can you put me to sleep please? Like you used to, but just for tonight?" I trailed my hand up to her forehead, "Ma nuvenin, ma da'len." My magic left my fingers and seeped into her mind putting her into a dreamless and fadeless sleep. I soon resumed my search for Wisdom.

*

The next morning we were to head out and when I awoke she was no longer beside me. Sitting up, I found her still in her nightdress before the fire. She was holding her foreign possessions in her hands and simply staring at them. "Fallen," I called to her, "are you okay?" She glanced over her shoulder at me and offered me a smile, "I am fine." I gathered the blanket around my bare shoulders and went to sit beside her on the floor. I drapped the blanket over her as well and she moved closer to my warmth.

A slightly floral and sunny smell reached my nose that was distinctly her. I was pleased to see that she still wore the braid I had given her over the shoulder farthest from me. She had opened the patterned object and I could see the rectangular shape that held the small life-like portrait of her. "What does it say?" I asked curious as to how much she trusted to share with me now. Surely, I was making progress. As the dominate party in our bond I could probably force her, but I was loath to do so. She pointed her small fingers at the letters and symbols I had never seen before, "It says my name and where my home _was_. It also has a code on it for identification purposes." I was intrigued and my eyes followed all the spots she pointed out as she spoke.

Imagine my surprise when he hands suddenly reared back and flung it all into the fire. I watched mesmerized as she intensified the flames with her magic and quickly incinerated her belongings. "Why?" I asked simply. "Because I need to move on. I can _never_ be her again Solas even if I find my way home. Besides, we both know it's safer for me if no one else sees them," her tone was detached and hollow sounding. "Where is your home Fallen?" I asked with hope. Her big brown eyes met my blue ones seriously, "You wouldn't believe me even if I told you."

*

Being back on the road was nice in a way. Ellana always made it an adventure and I was glad to get away from Haven after what had happened. The solder hadn't _physically_ done anything to me, but the mark was still there and it was opening old wounds I had long thougbt closed. I had also become tired of the way everyone in Haven had been looking at me that last day. It was either pity or hate, and honestly hate seemed to have the upper hand.

"Quit thinking about it," Ellana directed at me fiercely. She was wearing a maroon rogue's armor with dark brown leather pants and a smart matching vest with so many pockets and hidey-holes that I was sure she could get out of just about anything. I had opted for a new set of battlemage robes that Adan had made for me at Cassandra's request. I had been surprised that she had taken the time to speak with him about it. The jacket was a lovely dark plum color that I thought probably complimented my coloring, but it had been too long since I'd last seen my reflection to be sure. At any rate, Solas had been speechless at the sight of me in them, or at least had pretended to be, at first which had sent Varric into a fit of snickers.

I was tired of fighting with my hair and had wrapped the braid that Solas had made into the tightest bun possible on top of my head. As we had progressed, a few stray curls had begun to fall down around my face. "I'm trying not to," I finally responded. "Well, hopefully Dennett's will be in sight in two more days time and then the journey to Val Royeaux will be much easier," she said cheerfully. I was still uneasy about the horses. Despite being from Tennessee, horseback riding had never been a hobby of mine.

My stomach was slightly unsettled and I brushed my hand across it. Ellana cocked an eyebrow at me and I rolled my eyes at her, "My breakfast must not have agreed with me." She looked at my abdomen and then back up at me, "You sure there's no little apostate wanderer babies in there?" She bent her face close to my stomach and I swatted her away angrily, "Enough! I promise you that is not the case."

"What are you two on about?" Cassandra asked loudly from behind us. "It's nothing Cassandra. My stomach is a little upset is all and our glorious Herald can make a joke out of anything." Said Herald stuck her tongue out at me before replying, "I'll take that as a compliment."

*

"Can you believe that old hag!?" Ellana was practically yelling the question at us. We were stationed at the camp near Dennett's farm. We had reported on the watch towers and now had weapons headed back to Haven. On the other hand, when she had approached the horsemaster again his wife had interjected that we should help with the wolf situation first. Dennett had looked very sheepish in the wake of his wife's determination.

He had made sure that the members of our direct party each had a horse... or in Varric's case a pony. The promise was that as soon as the wolves were handled he would send more tk Haven. So as mentioned above, Ellana was a little ticked. "I mean where does she get off on this?" she asked annoyed. "A favor for a favor. Such is the way of the world," Cassandra replied smoothly.

We were all sitting around the campfire filling up on roasted ram meat. The great things about the Inquisition designated camps included better meals and no night watch as there were always scouts present. That meant we all received a good night's sleep. "Are you not hungry?" Solas asked me pointing at the meat I had barely touched on my plate. "My stomach is still upset Solas," I answered quitely. He was watching my face intently, "I can make you a herbal tea to help if you like?" I handed my uneaten food off to Varric who happily took it, "Maybe tomorrow. I think I'm gonna turn in for the night."

I stood up brushing dirt from my new robes and started heading towards the tent, "I will go ahead and set the wards. Good night all." As I passed Ellana, she hugged my side, "Get some beauty sleep for tomorrow we go wolf hunting." I shook my head and hugged her back softly. As I entered the tent, I heard her howl like a wolf behind me and I giggled while wondering what Solas thought of her display.

I took in the familar sight of the Inquisition tent and then went to work setting the wards. Varric was still sharing a space with Solas and I while Ellana and Cassandra snored in harmony together. I tied the laces of the tent before I began changing into my night dress. I had begun wearing it at camp too as I had become more comfortable with everyone and besides it really was more cool especially when sharing the smaller space with two other warm bodies. I had removed my plum cloak and was in a plain black tank toptop and leggings when I discovered why my stomach had been so upset. My period had started!

Before being portaled to Thedas, I had been on the shot and my periods had been nonexistent for about a year. Of course traveling to Thedas had ensured that I missed my last dose. I was suddenly beyond embarrassed of my situation and at a loss as to what I should do. My distress was intensified when a male voice cleared his throat outside the tent and asked cautiously, "Da'len, may I enter?" I was mortified, but of course that illogical part of my brain that always felt safe around Solas took over, "One moment."

I untied the ties and parted them cautiously, "Are you alone?" Solas' pale face was lit dimly by the candles from within, "I am. Are you unwell?" I stepped back allowing him to enter with my eyes downcast. He came in slowly and looked me over. When his eyes passed over my crotch area he understood, "Ah, your moon blood. That would explain a lot." He seemed so nonchalant about it and I just wanted to die.

"What do I do about it?" I asked fearfully. He looked taken aback by my question, "Do you not have any supplies?" I shook my head 'no' and continued to look everywhere but his line of sight. "Well, how have you been managing all this time? You had to know we would be gone from Haven for some time..." he trailed off completely lost.

"I... didn't have to worry about it until now," I stated. At the confusion in his eyes I answered as honestly as I knew how, "Where I come from, there are... medicines... that you can take that prevent pregnancy and in time take away the bleeding. I obviously haven't had the medicine in a while... so yeah." He nodded his head, "There is a similar concoction that I can make for you," he encouraged me. "I will prepare it for you when we return to Have so you may learn," he offered. "In the meantime you will have to adjust I'm afraid. I will be back," and with that he turned and exited the tent.

When he popped back in maybe five minutes later he had a small satchel in hand. He handed it to me, "This should have what you need. I will wait outside let me know when you are ready." He disappeared outside and I got to messy work. By the time all was settled, I felt like a baby in a diaper, but I felt more secure. I gave him the all clear and began to settle into my roll while he got ready for sleep. I knew he'd leave the candles going for a while so he could read and after living with him for so long I was used to it.

I was settling down and avoiding looking his was when as usual he read my mind, "You have nothing to be ashamed of. The blood means you are healthy and fertile." I hummed into my pillow, but didn't answer him. "Where I come from, it is a symbol of a woman's strength and power," he said. I didn't know what to say to him in return and was spared the struggle when a drunken dwarf entered our tent and faceplanted onto his roll. Solas extinguished the candles with a flick of his wrist, "Good night Fallen."

 **Translations**

 **Da'len:** little child; little one

 **Vhenan Enansal:** heart blessing

 **Arlathan:** the major city of Elvhenan

 **Ma Nuvenin, Ma Da'len:** As You Say, My Little One

 **Resource**

 _http/dragonage./wiki/Elven_language_


	14. Token of the Packmaster (Meet Alpha)

**The Cost of Pride**

Megatoxic

 _*Disclaimer: Bioware owns Dragon Age.*_

 **Chapter 14: _Token of the Packmaster (Meet Alpha)_**

I learned quickly the next morning that having a menstral cycle in times where basic hygiene was at a minimum _sucked_. Cleaning up the mess my body had made for me in my sleep was a disgusting affair, and it didn't help that I was moody and cramping intensely. Once we were all packed up and ready to travel, I double checked in my pack that my feminine supplies were good to go. I hadn't asked Solas where he had gotten them and I was afraid to do so if I was honest. I had put on my battlemage armor again and my hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail. Overall, I was sure that I looked like a hot mess.

"Well, the wolves lair is close enough to walk to so we'll save the horses for later," Ellana stated and began leading the way down a rocky slope. We had barely gone down halfway when Ellana stopped holding up a hand for us to 'halt' and Solas spoke softly from my side, "A rift ahead Herald?" Ellana nodded, "Perhaps it is related to the wolves behavior?" Solas shifted his weight and removed hi staff, "It is always possible."

We moved forward as always, Cassandra in front with Ellana silent and deadly behind her. Varric staying behind a bit to find a vantage point and Solas and I trying to balance our distance away from close contact with our need to be close enough for the effectiveness of our spells. We all realized quickly that this rift was a little stronger than the others we had encountered so far. There were the usual annoying, but managable, terror demons and then a new one emerged. They had on ragged hooded cloaks and teleported across the battlefield quickly. "Watch out for despair!" Solas shouted to us. We quickly learned why.

The tricky bitches could shoot out one hell of an ice blast. I threw a barrier around Cassandra hastily as I saw one on the second wave turn it's attention her way. The demon screeched in frustration and blinked out of sight. I spun around desperately looking for it when I heard Varric shout at me, "Halfling, she's coming up behind you!" I turned quickly while trying to throw up a barrier, but I wasn't fast enough and the ice hit my left arm freezing it solid. I had never felt anything like it in my life and an agony filled scream escaped my lips.

My companions quickly closed in on it and the I heard the usual humming as Ellana closed the rift. Solas dropped to the ground beside me and directed his attention to my frozen arm, "It will be okay. We can fix this, but it must be done carefully and quickly." I felt him open up to me and I accepted his power and the rush that came with it. In return, I pushed back until our power blended into that beautiful and terribly addicting way that I had grown to love.

Ellana knelt by my other side, "Well, what do we do old man?" Her big green eyes looked fearful for the fate of my arm. " _We_ do nothing Herald. Fallen, you must heat up your arm with fire. You must do it quickly, but qith enough control that you do not end up boiling your own blood," Solas told me directly. I looked at him is disbelief, "Why can't you do it?" His blue eyes looked at me softly, "Only _you_ know the limits of what you can take because you can physically feel that threshold. If you were not a mage I had faith in then I would do it for you." _So that is why he linked with me_ , I acknowledge internally.

"He is right," Cassandra informed us. She was standing above us with Varric at her side. "It will hurt either way tthough," she added sympathetically. I look at Ellana and she gripped my hand firmly in response, "You can do this lethallan. You must!" I braced myself, released her hand, and sent heat into that free hand. I began running up and down my frozen arm with my firey hand. At first, I could feel no difference as the ice started to melt away and then suddenly... I could definitely feel a difference.

It fely like the pins and needles that you get when your leg goes to sleep only this was intensified a thousand fold to the point of pain. I gritted my teeth to bite back the yell trying to escape and I felt Solas helping to keep the power and mana I was using steady. Once the ice had disappeared visibly I almost stopped before Solas spoke up, "You must push a little farther. The muscles must be freed and the circulation musmust return entirely." So, I pushed on and by the time I could move my arm and fingers my face was in covered in tears. I released the mana in exhaustion and allowed Ellana to embrace me and rock me calmly. I felt like a small child and a major wuss.

"You did well Fallen," Solas stated. I shook a little and wiped my eyes, "I am sorry. You all have to think I'm so weak." Varric handed me the flask he was always carrying around, "Not a bit Halfling. Most of the grown men I know wouldn't have been able to do that by themselves." I wanted to tell them that I had help, but I remembered Solas' warning about our sharing and I instead took a quick swig from the flask. The liqour burned my throat on the way down and I coughed. "Thanks Varric. You have no idea how much I needed that," I told him as I handed back the flask. "Any time pretty lady," he said with a wink.

*

I had been terrified when the despair demon had hit Fallen, but I had been impressed and proud of her control and endurance. I had barely needed to help her control the flow of the power needed to do the job. Also, I was able to feel her pain so I admired her for withstanding it. She was a strong and intriguing little mage. As we continued on our way, I could tell that her arm was still sore and that he moon cycle was bothering her as well. Every step she took looked as if it sent her a jolt of discomfort in a couple of places.

I had promised her that I would make the fertility control draught for her when we returned to Haven and I meant it wholeheartedly. I could techniqually have had my agents bring me the ingredients then, but it would have looked suspecious to anyone who knew what all was in it. Chances were that Ellana and Cassandra had used it at some point or at least knew about it. Another benefit of her taking it would be that we would not have to worry about any accidents when the time came. Our relationship was changing steadily, but only a fool could not see where it was heading. I had not fathered children in my long life and I planned to keep it that way.

We could tell that we were getting close to the wolves lair when we started to see animal bones everywhere. "Fallen, ma falon please stay back and avoid direct engagement," the Herald ordered her kindly and to my relief she inclined her head in obedience. We made quick work of the few wolves outside the cave and a part of me was sad that taking their lives was neccessary. "Did you see their eyes?" I asked the group.

"They were glowing," the seeker replied. "Precisely, I believe they are being controlled by a demon. If we kill the demon then this maddness will stop," I encouraged. Ellana shuddred and looked my way, "If we have to kill them all then we will Solas. Wolves are bad luck and the creatures of the Dread Wolf himself." Before I could react, Fallen stepped towars her friend looking aggitated, "Ell, we are talking about a demon that probably came from that rift you just closed. These wolves don't deserve this!" She placed her good hand on her arm, "None of us here are Dalish. We have no fear of Fen'harel and will not judge you for doing the right thing."

The Herald nodded, "Alright, let's go get this demon then." As we moved forward Fallen smiled at me and I returned it warmly. I was encouraged that she could sway the Herald do easily. I would not hesitate to use that knowledge when needed. We were not in the cave long before we discovered the terror demon. Fallen stayed back again and focused on barriers and support as we went to work.

When all was said and done, the demon was destroyed about six wolves walked away with their lives. We could hear them howling their thanks as we dispersed. "Good," Ellana declared happily while cleaning her daggers in the grass, "now we can go back to the farm and have mounts on their way to Haven. Then onward to Val Royeaux." As we turned to leave, Fallen stopped us with a shout, "Wait!" She clutched her throat and made her way towards the demon's remains. I peered curiously at them and back to her, "What is it?"

Her big eyes looked on eagerly, "I just saw something move." I heard a _whisk_ sound as Cassandra unsheathed her swors again and moved in front of Fallen. "Well the damn thing is definitely dead," Varric noted. "I promise I saw something y'all," Fallen said with that strange accent of hers. She had barely spoke when a small _yip_ came from the remains of the demon and a wolf pup popped out and landed at the seeker's feet. Fallen gasped and dropped to her knees beside the pup, "Awe, her mother must have been possessed. Wait, what's this?"

Her small finger pulled a pendant from around the pup's nack that was shaped like a tiny wolf. "I think it's enchanted," she said handing it my way. I reached out and touched it with my mana detecting a protection laid on it. "I believe it kept the wolves from attacking the demon," I answered. I extended my arm to hand it to the Herald who vehemently shook her head 'no.' "I will _not_ wear the damned thing. I have enough worries without the Dread Wolf catching my scent," she declared with real fear in her voice. My anger flared at her ignorance. "I will take it," Fallen said hopefully. I nodded in acceptance, "It would look well on you."

She smiled and turned so I could tie it around her neck. When she turned back around to me, the little wooden wolf was resting just below her collar bone. "Now we match a little," she joked lightly touching my jawbone. The puo wiggled in her arms which brought forth the giggle I had grown to love. "Well, I think you're both crazy," Ellana said fiercely. "Good, then you will _adore_ me for keeping her," Fallen responded pointing to her new charge. "Keep the beast out of my tent," Ellana warned heading out of the cave and back towards the horsemaster.

*

As we waited while Ellana and Cassandra spoke with Dennett and his wife, I played with my new friend. She was the cutest thing ever. I didn't know much about wolves, but I knew she was weaned by the way she eagerly chewed on my rations that I shared with her. Her fur was a dark jet black and her eyes were a deep blue that almost looked black. "Have you given her a name yet?" Varric asked as he leaned against the stable fence. I felt my mouth turn up in a smile, "Alpha."

Solas chuckled and looked my way, "And how do you know she is an alpha ma da'len?" I pointed to the wolf pendant on my chest, "The token of the packmaster told me so." Varric threw his hands up, "Oh no Halfling. Don't you dare let our Dalish leader hear that or she'll start screaming about that wolf-god again." I glanced at Solas and saw him his jaw biting back the words that were fighting to break through. I knew that had to be hard for him to take after everything he had done and hoped to do for the elves. Not to mention, his very name means 'pride.'

"The only way to change minds is to challenge them my dwarven friend," I replied in a sing-song voice. "Whose mind are we changing?" Ellana asked coming up behind me. Before I could speak, Solas interjected with, "No one's."

I looked his way sadly before adding, "It's nothing Ell. Everything good to go with the horses?" Cassandra's metal hand landed on Ellana's shoulder in a show of support, "Yes, the Herald managed to get the horses _and_ the horsemaster himself." Ellana rolled her green eyes and smiled, "I figured he could use some time away from his charming wife." I shook my head and replied slyly, "I'm sure that just devastated you."

She winked a green eye at me, "Don't you know it! Let's go get our rides and hit the road. We stilk have half a day left and we need to cover some ground." I gulped nervously and followed her and the others to the stables. Alpha stayed with me running through my feet and I wondered how I was going yo transport her. Just as the thought entered my mind Solas approached me with a dark green piece of cloth in his hands. He stopped me a ways back from everyone else, "This is a foot wrap, but we can re-purpose it."

He gently folded it and wrapped it around my still sore arm and chest. With him so close, I could smell the clean smell that was him and healing elfroot. My eyes focused on his cleft chin and full lips. He followed my line of sight and I blushed crimson at being caught staring at him so intimately. His blue eyes crinkled in amusement, "There. Now your new friend will have a ride as well." He scooped Alpha up from my heels and placed her in the sling across my chest. Her big eyes blinked at us and her tiny ears were alert and perky. My heart doubled in size in that moment.

"Hey! You two fools c'mon!" Ellana yelled at us. I rolled my eyes at Solas in exasperation as we hurried to get to our mounts. Mine, picked for me might I add, was a black black stallion with a white spot on his forehead. He really was quite beautiful and if I had more experience perhaps I wouldn't have been terrified of him. "His name is Knight," the stable lad told me proudly and I hesitated when he went to give me his reins. "Can you help me get on him?" I asked as quitely as possible. The lad's eyes got wide, "Do you know how to ride miss?" I shivered a bit in nervousness, "I mean I get the theory. Some pointers would be nice though."

So while the others were discussing the best routes to take, a ten year old stable boy showed me how to take Knight's saddle on and off and gave me some basic riding instructions. I prayed to every god I could think of that it would be enough to help me not break my neck falling off the damn creature.

*

That night as I slid off Knight's back, I was sure that I was going to bawl like a baby as soon as I was alone. My legs and backs were killing me and I needed to change my makeshift pad desperately. Solas dismounted his brown mare and tied her to a nearby tree. She looked docile and calm. Knight hadn't done anything wrong that I noticed, but he was certainly more intimidating. Ellana was looking pleased as she tied her pure white stallion securely to a tree as Solas had done, "We're making good time. Two more days and we should reach the city."

I cringed at the thought of two more days in the saddle. I was certainly going to die. "Here let me show you," Solas kindly took Knight's reins and showed me the appropriate knot to tie him to a tree with. "Have you never ridden before lethallan?" Ellana asked me curiously. "Nope, not much," I replied as vaguely and casually as possible. Alpha stirred in her sling and I set her on the ground.

She yipped and started running around freely as we made camp. Ellana tried to ignore her completely and shoo-ed her away if she felt the pup was too close. Eventually, as we were settled and eating by the fire Alpha found a friend in Cassandra who kept sneaking her bites off her plate. I felt much better having attended to my lady situation, but my arm was still sore from the encounter that morning and my body felt like battered shit from riding.

"I could help with that," Solas suggested. I looked his way, "Help with what?" He waved the spoon he was eating with up and down, "Your body's discomfort." I raised my eyebrows, "And just how do you intend to do that?"

He places his plate on the ground and motioned for me to stand, "Get up and turn your back to me." I felt everyone's eyes on us as I did as he instructed. When my back was to him he instructed me again, "Take off your jacket." My skin rippled in anticipation as I removed my mage coat. Varric whistlex suggestively and I heard a smack as Ellana whacked him on the back of the head.

Then I fely Solas' magic on my body. I had connected with him and I had basked in his power, but I had never really _felt_ his magic _move_ over me. This was completely different than him putting me to sleep. This was intimate and I felt that he was testing me. The magic massaged into my muscles and his touch on my bare skin wouldn't have been more personal. When he made it to my lower back, I felt my eyes flutter close and a small unbidden moan escaped me.

By the time he had worked his magic down my thighs I was fighting to remain standing at all. When he withdrew his magic and resumed his seat I melted into mine. I felt all the eyes on us and even Alpha was looking in my direction with her cute little head tilted to the side. "What? None for me Chuckles?" Varric asked making Solas choke on his food.

 **Translations**

 **Lethallan** : someone with whom one is familiar

 **Ma Falon** : My Friend

 **Ma Da'len** : My Little One

 **Resource**

 _http/dragonage./wiki/Elven_language_


	15. Powers of Observation

**The Cost of Pride**

Megatoxic

 _*Disclaimer: Bioware owns Dragon Age.*_

-In game dialogue-

 **Chapter 15: _Powers of Observation_**

The closer we got to the capital the more obvious it became. The rustic houses and farm land turned into brick stone houses and the farmland seemed to disappear entirely. Before we knew it, we had arrived at a long bridge that would take us into the city itself. As I sat on Knight's back and looked at the city from the outside, I couldn't help but to be impressed. The people of Thedas had built all this without the help of modern technology. Granted they had mages, but it was still impressive.

There was a large stable outside of the city that many people were congregrating at with their horses. We were on a large hill a couple miles away simply observing our destination. "We can pay to have our horses cared for there while we are in the city. Once we get inside there is little room for them," Cassandra explained to us. "Kirkwall is the same way," Varric added. I was glad to be getting a break from the saddle. My body would greatly appreciate it.

Ellana's face looked pale making her dark vallaslin stand out more. "It looks so big. How many people live in there?" she asked shakily. I hadn't even thought about how intimidating it must have looked to the Dalish woman. "A great many," Cassandra supplied. "Not helping seeker," Varric chided. "You will be fine Ellana. We will be by your side the whole time," Cassandra promised. Solas slipped from the back of his mount and began removing his staff from the strap holding it in place.

"What are you _doing_ Solas?" Ellana asked him. "We are about to enter a city filled with scared people. Fallen and I will not be safe if we simply walk in announcing for all to see that we are apostates," he explained calmly. He approached me and began untying my staff as well once his was free. "How will we protect ourselves?" I asked him. He glanced up at me while his hands continued to work, "You did not use a staff at first and we do not require them. They help us focus it is true, but staff or no we are still mages."

"You and Solas should refrain from using magic while we are in the city," Cassandra advised us both. My memory of the occurences within the game seemed to be fading the longer I stayed there, but I knew that Val Royeaux was not going to be a walk in the park. "And if we are attacked?" I asked her boldly. "Then you will allow us to handle it," Cassandra responded readily. "The last thing we need in these difficult times is word to spread that the Inquisition's mages cannot control themselves," she explained. My temper flared, but Solas' hand touched my thigh to still me. "We will keep to ourselves seeker," he promised her.

We all watched as Solas took the staves and leaned them against a nearby tree. My skin tingled as he embraced his magic. A bright blue glow engulfed them before they disappeared from sight and all that was left was the bark of the tree they had been leaning against. I ran my hand ove the surface of the bark, but didn't detect them in the slightest. "How did you do that?" I asked him in wonder. "Magic," he replied and then chuckled as I rolled my eyes at him. " _That_ is a fine example of the things you two will refrain from doing within the city," Cassandra said pointedly.

*

Once we had paid to have our horses and Alpha cared for we were allowed access to cross the bridge into the city. The statues that lined the bridge were huge and there was so much gold everywhere that the reflecting sunlight on it was bound to give me a headache. As we got a few more paces in, I felt an arm wrap around my own and I turned to see Ellana attached to it. "They won't fall on us will they?" she asked me timidly. I giggled at her question and she poked her tongue out at me like a child in response. "Have you never been in a city?" I asked. "No. Haven was my first, but that is nothing compared to here," she said earnestly. "It was strictly forbidden. We were told horror stories of elves that went into the citys and were kidnapped by slavers," she admitted.

"There is truth to those stories. We should stick together," Solas warned us. At that moment, a couple passing us on their way out of the city noticed us. The masked woman gasped and put her hand over her mouth dramatically. The man beside her grabbed her hand and began to drag her away quickly. "I think they know who we are seeker," Varric stated sarcastically. "Your powers of observation never cease to amaze me Varric," Cassandra responded in annoyance.

Ellana's face blanched whiter and her grip on my arm tightened. "They are afraid of me," she whispered. "They are afraid of everything Ell. We are here to give them hope," I reminded her gently. "Isn't that one of Leliana's scouts?" Varric asked suddenly pointing out an Inquisition scout headed our way. Once the scout was close enough, I could make out the handsome features of Kalen under the hood. "Kalen?" I asked, "Is everything alright?" Cassandra spoke up, "The city still mourns."

"That it does Seeker Cassandra," Kalen confirmed solemnly, "The chantry mothers await you all, but so do a great many templars." Cassandra looked surprised at the news, "There are templars here?" Kalen nodded his response, "The people seem to think that the templars will protect them from the Inquisition. They are gathering on the other side of the market where I believe the templars will try to meet you." Cassandra sighed heavily and began moving forward again, "Only one thing to do then."

"They wish to protect the people from us?" she questioned angrily as we followed her lead. "Well, we knew to expect some kind of reaction Cassandra," Ellana pointed out. "Well I certainly didn't expect the templars to make an appearance," Cassandra admitted. Kalen was still with us and added, "What we have heard is what the people assume the templars will do. I have discovered no concrete plans." Varric's little legs were moving quickly to keep up with us all when he added, "Do you think the orders returned to the fold maybe to do with us upstairs?"

Cassandra continued on still in a confused tone, "I _know_ Lord Seeker Lucius. I can't imagine him coming to the chantry's defense and especially not after what's occurred." She was in deep thought for a second before stopping the party and turning to Kalen, "Return to Haven. Inform the others of what has happened. They need to know in case... we are delayed." Kalen bowed respectfully, "As you say my lady." He glanced my way one more time. I smiled at him as best I could under the pressure of the moment. He started to smile back, but something over my shoulder caught his eye. He quickly made his leave and I turned to see Solas standing innocently behind me.

I was unsure what message he hand just slyly sent Kalen's way, but now I was annoyed as well as scared. "We are about to walk into a city full of templars," I announced to our party weakly. This had to be the craziest thing I had done since arriving in Thedas. Ellana looked worried, but determined, "I will not allow them to take you or Solas." Cassandra looked our way, "Agreed; however, their presence does change things. You should both hang back when we approach the mothers and try to remain as inconspicuous as possible."

Solas moved closely to my side, "I agree. I will keep us within eyesight, but within the safety of the crowd." I glanced up at him anxiously, "And what do we do if they approach us or try to hurt our friends?" Cassandra hurried to assure me, "The Lord Seeker wouldn't be stupid enough to attack us in the middle of the market. If someone approaches you then you follow Solas' lead. He has spent a long time looking as unthreatening as possible." Solas' lips turned up in an attractive smirk and I knew internally he was laughing because Cassandra had no idea how right she was about that.

*

I led Fallen to a far side of the market near a few merchant's booths. It was close enough that we could see the Herald approaching the mothers, but far enough away that we could be easily overlooked. Fallen appeared extremely on edge and I could sense a fear and anxiety coming from her that was putting me a little on edge as well. It was hard to focus past my worry for her. This was unlike me and concerning.

When we saw the templars approaching she gasped and grabbed my hand. I felt her small fingers intwine with mine and squeeze tightly. She turned her head towards my shoulder and seemed to be bracing herself for something as she tried to look away from the scene. The sound of gasps and several screams caused me to turn back to our companions and I could see that a templar had struck the mother that the Herald had been speaking with. I glanced down at Fallen who was now watching with open eyes again. She had looked away right before the blow... surely she could not have known it was coming...

My train of thought was suddenly interrupted as my sight landed on a human man that was watching Fallen closely. He was dressed nicely and had a half-mask on as the nobles here preferred. The spy in me recognized the interest he was showing her as a red flag. I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her in closer to me. She gasped, "Solas, now is really not the time..."

" _Shhhh_ da'len. You are being watched," I whispered into her hair as a lover would send sweet words. She wrapped her arm around my waist in return and grabbed the front of my tunic with her other hand, "What should we do?" I chuckled and ran a hand through what she referred to as her 'ponytail,' "We appear _together_ until he looses interest." Without giving her time to adjust, I pulled her into a dark alcove hidden by well manicured bushes and trees.

I was surprised at how quickly she adjusted and went with my lead. She made a point to laugh like a lovesick fool would and throw her arms around my neck. Once I had her against the wall she blinked up at me at a loss. "Well, now that they all think we're screwing back here what do we actually do?" she asked. "We wait until you can see the others and we go out to meet them like two people embarrassed to have snuck away at such a time," I mumbled into her warm neck.

There was a loud sound of clanking armor as the retreating templars were making their leave. Fallen pulled me closer to her in anxiety as they passed, but I found no complaint as the soft curves of her hips fit my palms perfectly. "They terrify me Solas," she admitted to me. "They are leaving now it seems. I would not let them harm you," I assured her and that was the moment I realized I meant it. She was looking at me curiously when she asked, "How would you stop them?" I met her gaze seriously, "How ever I had to."

That seemed to be what she wanted to hear, but for some reason I could also detect a hint of humor from her at my words. She glanced over my shoulder and pushed me back firmly, but gently, "They're coming this way." She grabbed my hand and started to pull me back into the open, "Let's make it look good." As if on cue, a blush colored her cheeks and she smiled sappily at me. I added a little more by letting her hair down roughly and tussing it up a bit. She bit her lip to make it swell a little and I loosened the front of my tunic with my free hand.

When we stepped fully into the way of the others the Herald's eyes went wide, "Mythal's tits! First the Lord Seeker and now you two!" I bowed to her slightly hoping to look apologetic to anyone looking in, but when we moved closer I spoke lowly, "There was a man watching Fallen." The Herald looked startled, "A templar?" Fallen looked between the two of us, "I never saw him." I ignored her input and replied to our leader, "Some noble looking for sport. What happened?"

"Basically Chuckles, we shouldn't count on templar support," Varric said looking aggitated. "Don't count them out yet Herald," Cassandra stated to the elven woman ignoring the dwarf, "they would be able to do the task." Mythal's markings crinkled at the corner of her eyes as the Herald frowned, "That wasn't promising Cassandra and I'm not even sure where to begin from here." Fallen grabbed her friend's glowing hand and smiled encouragingly, "Don't loose hope Ell. This will work itself out I promise." I frowned at my vhenan enansal's support of the templars, "Neverthless, we should meet with the mages as well."

The seeker looked at me and nodded in agreement, "Solas is right. Let's head back to Haven and inform the others of what has happened." The Herald's red hair shone brightly as she moved to take point on the way out of the city. She was quite an attractive elf and if I was not already bound to Fallen I could have considered an intriguing seduction with her. The major downfall was Mythal's slave marking on her cheeks. Since the fall of the veil, I had not been able to get past them. I caught Fallen watching my eyes on her friend and I saw a flash of envy there before she looked away. _Good job old fool_ , I reprimanded myself.

We had barely made it halfway around the market when a _whooshing_ sound caught in my sharp elven ears and I instinctively pulled Fallen tight against me. An arrow with a piece of red paper in it was sticking out of the ground and not far from the Herald's feet. She quickly read the letter and looked intrigued, "Something about friends and more clues, but I think it's someone who wants to help." Her green eyes were quickly scanning the upper floors of the buildings nearby. Cassandra removed her hand from the pommel of her sword and pointed at a man headed our way, "I think he wants your attention." The elven woman rolled her eyes in humor, "Now who has amazing powers of observation Cassandra." Varric laughed out loud at the friendly jibe and Fallen giggled.

The dark-skinned man bowed to the Herald politely before handing an invitation to her, "An invitation, my lady, to a dinner party tomorrow night hosted by Madam de Fer." Ellana looked overwhelmed, "By who?" But by the time she looked up to ask the man was already moving away into the crowd. "Well, that escalated quickly," Fallen stated. "Looks like we'll be staying the next couple of nights in the city," Cassandra acknowledged, "we need any allies we can get."

"Agreed," the red head responded. "Let's look for these other clues and then we can rent some rooms for tonight." I was not looking forward to staying in the human noble infested city, but I understood the necessity. It tooks us a couple of hours before we found the rest of the clues from this 'friend of red Jenny' who wanted us to meet them late that very night. "Dinner and rest first!" Elland exclaimed before leading us back towards the market.

"What about Alpha?" Fallen asked suddenly. The elf appeared annoyed with her friend, "She is an animal. She will be just fine with the horses. We paid extra for them to look after her." Fallen shook her head and stood her ground, "That was a one day agreement and she will think I abandoned her." I could sense the distress suddenlysuddenly coming from her. The two friends seemed to be staring each other down before the elven woman caved and threw her hands up in frustration and defeat, "FINE! Let's go get the damn beast cursed by the Dread Wolf himself so that we can rest and eat!"

Relief and success rolled off of Fallen in equal measure, and I once again acknowledged internally her gift at swaying our leader's course of action. "Thank you lethallan," Fallen said genuinely and the Herald smiled at her friend using the elven endearment for her. "Yeah, yeah. The things we do for family," she said affectionately. As I watched the two women lead the way back to the stables arm-in-arm, I could not help but recognize that they really did act like sisters.

 **Translations**

 **Da'len** : little child; little one

 **Vhenan Enansal** : heart blessing

 **Lethallan** : someone with whom one is familiar

 **Resource**

 _http/dragonage./wiki/Elven_language_


	16. Red Friend

**The Cost of Pride**

Megatoxic

 _*Disclaimer: Bioware owns Dragon Age. Fallen and I are just here for amusement.*_

-In game dialogue-

 **Chapter 16: _Red Friend_**

Alpha was tucked back into my makeshift sling and she was content enough to nap. The elf in the stables had looked relieved to give her back to me no doubt due to silly superstitions about a certain elven god in my vicinity. We had been going around to different taverns, but everyone we had encountered so far had claimed that their rooms were full and sent us on our tired way.

"Is it always like this here?" Ellana asked annoyed at our results. Cassandra's lips were pressed in a thin tight line and Solas looked equally irrate. Varric explained, "No Dales. They're giving us a hard time because of what happened in the market today. They are scared. Not to mention there are two elves, a dwarf, and a woman who's half-blooded if you look close enough. That would be a turn off for most of their patrons."

Cassandra didn't say anything in response, but I could tell that she agreed with Varric. "Well, there has to be somewhere for us to go," Ellana said pitifully. A merchant near us whistled to get our attention. The merchant was a human woman who had on a mask and looked decently well off based on her clothing. "You wanted us?" Ellana asked in a tone that suggested she was a bit put off at being whistled at like an animal.

"You're with the Inquisition are you not?" the merchant asked in her thick Orlesian accent. "We are," Ellana confirmed. "My name is Belle," the merchant continued, "and this whole affair is becoming exhausting. Nobody is _doing_ anything. The templars have abandoned us and the Chantry is useless. Let me join you." Ellana looked at Cassandra and shrugged indifferently.

"If you go to Haven there will be a place for you," Cassandra told her. "Thank you," Belle said smugly, "You will not be disappointed with my connections. By the way, I have heard a rumor that no one will rent you rooms. I offer to you my first example of my connections and resources. Travel exactly one floor up. There is a tavern called _Diana's Delights_ and tell the owner Stefan that Belle the Barter is calling. He will take care of you."

Ellana looked relieved at the news, "Thank you lady Belle." Belle smiled, "Of course Herald. We all must do our part to close this monstrosity in the sky." With our directions and a new found hope that we might have a bed to rest in before the sun went down, we headed back to the second level of the city.

There had been a clue from Red Jenny up there earlier and I had hoped not to have to come back. The second level consisted of a rougher crowd. It was quite obvious that these individuals were up here so that the nobles and tourists would not have to look at them. There were hardly any noble covered faces and definitely more laborers and impoverished. Other than Ellana and Solas, I had seen no pointed ears in the market district, but up here they appeared to be more common.

As we searched for our destination Cassandra explained, "This is more of the middle and lower class of the city. Those who actually work and keep the economy flowing. If we go up another level we would discover the alienage and skidrow." Ellana physically shivered at her words and pleaded with the group, "Please, let's not go up there."

I agreed with her wholeheartedly. I didn't want to see the tragedies that area might hold. "Just because we look the other way does not mean something does not exist," Solas stated. Ellana rounded on him heatedly, "Oh, so you wish to see _our_ people like that do you?" Solas stiffened and replied cooly, "We do not have the same _people_ Herald. I would think that your friend Mihris made the abundantly clear not too long ago."

"Solas, that's not fair and you know it. Ell stood up for us," I reminded him. "Maybe so," he acknowledged grudgingly, "but do not think for one second da'len that the Dalish would accept you, me, or any of the elves in this city into their clans." There was a small crowd now watching us and I shift from one foot to the other nervously, "This is really not the place you two."

The two elves looked around at the onlookers and seemed to slightly agree to drop it. Our party didn't have to move much further when Cassandra stopped us with a hand movement and pointed to a building close to our spot with a brightly colored sign. The building was a deep burgandy color with gilded window frames which was odd for this area. There were sounds of music and laughter coming from within. The sign had the usual Thedosian lettering that I couldn't read, but it pictured two women kissing passionately. " _Diana's Delights_ ," Varric read helpfully, "this looks like my kind of establishment."

Ellana smiled wickedly, "You think they're daring enough to board two elves, half of one, and a stubby man?" Varric scoffed and said incredulously, "I'm standing right here your Inquisitorialness." Cassandra rolled her dark eyes and looked very done for tbe day. "Can we please focus on the task at hand," she said in a tired, but stern voice.

Ellana led us into the interesting building with Cassandra close behind her heels. This was the first establishment I had been able to enter since arriving at the captial and my eyes darted around hungrily taking everything in. There were great wooden tables in front of a large fire place and a stariway that was just visible in the back that looked as if it led up to the available rooms

There were several questionably dressed women that seemed to be waiting on the patrons at the tables and a dark haired human man was standing behind the only available bar. "You tell Ember I said to get down here immediately before she loses her wages for the week," the man was saying gruffly to a woman who looked like she worked there by her attire.

"Hey are you Stefan?" Ellana asked the man. He shooed the bar maid away who look relieved at the interruption and then turned his full attention to our leader. "Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes sweet thing," he said in a disgustingly sweet tone. "Are you looking for work?" he asked. Cassandra looked ready to snap, but in a flash of roguish speed Ellana had a dagger stabbed into the bar right between two of the man's grimy fingers.

" _Something_ tells me that if I had to risk working for you or starving to death shem then I'd choose the latter," she said threateningly low. Her words managed to carry though in the silence around us. The taverns dozen or so patrons had stilled to watch the scene. "As is, I'm extremely pissed that my options are limited to you. Belle the Barter has come calling for you Stefan. My companions and I need rooms for the next two nights," she finished by pulling her dagger out of the bar dramatically.

Stefan seemed to have found his voice, "Screw that bitch Belle! _This_ is not what I meant when I made that agreement with her. If I let your sort stay here then word will get out!" I had reached my own level of available patience at his disgusting words. "Aparently you have no problem allowing our _sort_ to work here though," I said viciously while indicating the scantily clad elven women amoung the crowd. "Fine then. Come along Herald. We simply must tell Belle to collect," I said to Ellana while taking a gamble at the man's relationship with our newest agent. "Now, now," stefan scrambled desperately with a much paler face, "let's not be so hasty. I'm sure that I have a couple of rooms available." I smiled at him in what I hoped came off in an entirely threatening way, "Make that three Stefan as you're boarding the Herald of Andraste herself."

The poor man looked like he might pass out at the title and when his eyes landed on Ellana again she flashed him her glowing hand. "Of... of course," he stuttered and before you could say 'Andraste's holy knickers' we were being led up the stairwell to a hallway of rooms. The elderly elven woman who showed us to our rooms looked pleased as pie to help us, "Rooms six, seven, and nine are yours. They only lock from the inside so do remeber that when it comes to your belongings. I will bring you all some cake with your dinner for handling that asshole." I couldn't help but giggle at her words as her gray head disappeared down our hallway.

*

I was pleased that the elven servant had appreciated our handling of the owner Stefan. No doubt he was not the kindest human to work for. "Good to know we're so compelling together," I joked at Fallen and she smiled in return. Her hair was coming undone with her curls gracing the sides of her face and neck. I had never met a half-blood, but I found her to be stunning. She was like the best of both races combined.

"Let's switch it up a bit," I suggested lightly. "What do you mean?" Cassandra asked with her typical no nonsense tone. "Well, Fallen and I can share a room. You can have one to yourself, and the men can share the other one," I explained easily. Cassandra appeared pleased with the suggestion of her own room, but I briefly saw a flash of concern on Solas' bare face. "You do know how to set your own wards now do you not lethallan or am I mistaken?" I asked innocently.

"Yes, I can handle myself," Fallen confirmed hastily. I caught her worried glance in the other elf's direction. There was definitely more going on there than they both let on and I was hoping I might get that from her soon. The tension between the two was frustrating to watch from the outside to say the least.

"Great! C'mon," I grabbed her arm and tugged her into room six behind me. "See you all in a few for dinner," I directed at the others in the hall before shutting the door. The room was small, but cozy for a shem loding. There was a bed we would have to share and a little vanity off to the side.

A yipping sound caught my attention as the front of Fallen's makeshift swing wiggeled. "I haven't forgotten about you," she cooed at the creature within and pulled out that damned mutt. "Oh creators, I forgot about that beast!" I exclaimed loudly. " _Too late now_ ," Fallen mocked me.

*

In the dead of night, we arrived at the meeting point for this 'Red Jenny.' Everyone was on edge, but thankful that we had managed to squeeze some rest in before hand. I had to reassure Fallen repeatedly before we left that we would be fine without our staves. She was nervous about it, but I was pleased to know that my assurance seemed to calm her. She trusted my judgement. It bothered me more than I will ever admit outloud that she was sharing someone else's room and bed. I had become so accustomed to her presence that I found myself quite jealous of the Herald.

My attention was brought back to the task at hand by the elven woman herself as she spoke in a hushed tone, "This is the place. I don't really see what's so special about it, but I suppose we shall see." Cassandra was a little ahead of our group and as she started to round the next corner she held up a hand to halt us.

My ears twitched as I picked up the conversation around said corner. "Let's hurry up and get this over with," a man's irritated voice said. "I can't make them meet us faster you know," another voice countered just as irate. "Hush you fools," a cold, but feminine voice joined in, "if you carry on so then the slaver will not take us seriously. He's come all the way from Tevienter to forge this connection with the boss."

At the word _slaver_ from the woman's tongue, I was done and ready to finish them. I glanced at the Herald and I could tell that her own pointed ears had come in handy as well and for once we were silently in agreement with one another. Varric was looking between the two of us and asked roughly, "You two hearing enabled wanna help us lost people out?" I worked to control my emotions and voice as I responded in a whisper, "They are meeting slavers from Tevienter."

The three limited hearing companions looked equally disgusted and angry. "I _will not_ stand for this. Tonight, they all die," the Herald stated making her intent clear and I readied myself for battle. We took the three out fairly quickly as we were well accustomed to working together and their deaths were cleaner than they deserved. Fallen was by my side looking on as Varric and the Herald picked the bodies clean for more clues or supplies.

"That was too easy," she said brushing dirt off her new battlemage coat. "Yep and I can't find anything on them that would be helpful or give more information about our red friend," the Herald said. "Perhaps we should push a little further?" Fallen asked as she pointed to a large door across the way. "I don't see the harm in it," Cassandra supported.

When the door opened, I think we were all surprised to see the Orlesian masked man that awaited. We were even more startled when he immediately threw fireballs our way. I felt the brush of Fallen's sweet magic as she threw barriers around us all instantaneously and flawlessly. "Herald of Andraste! How much did you expend to discover me? It must have weakened the Inquisition immensely," he exclaimed in a pompous tone.

My magic flared in the Dalish woman's hand as she addressed the man in confusion, "I don't know who you are, but I know the disgusting things you're trying to orchestrate here." The dolt placed his hands on hips before responding, "You don't fool me! I'm too important for this to be an accident! My efforts will survive in victories against you elsewhere!" He was attempting to puff his chest out and the look would have been comical in another situation.

Suddenly, the sound of a man crying out in pain made us all turn to see a blond elven woman with an arrow cocked right at the man, "Just say 'what!'" The man appeared even more outraged at her appearance, "What is this?" He had barely gotten it out when the woman let her arrow fly and it went threw the man's neck causing him to fall dead at the Herald's feet.

"Squishy one, but you heard me right? 'Just say what,' rich tits always try for more than they deserve," the new elf said smartly. She must have come from a city as her fave was bare, but most notiable about her was her short platinum hair that looked like she cut it herself without access to a mirror to assess her work.

I was trying to decipher what I could about her appearance alone when I heard her say, "And you're an elf..." A pair of red eyebrows shot up in surprise, "You do know you're one too right?" The woman laughed maniacally and then seemed to calm down almost immediately, "Well as long as you're not _too_ elfy." The Herald moved closer to my side and elbowed me in the ribs, "Oh no, I leave all that to ma falon Solas here." The new archer eyed me and my ears warrily and Varric and Fallen both burst into laughter. I rolled my eyes at their suddenly childish behavior.

 **Translations**

 **Da'len : **little child; little one

 **Shem : **short for 'shemlen'

 **Ma Falon : **My Friend

 **Resource**

 _http/dragonage./wiki/Elven_language_


	17. The Sum Isn't Always Equal

**The Cost of Pride**

Megatoxic

 _*Disclaimer: You know how this goes. Bioware is the boss.*_

 **Chapter 17: _The Sum Isn't Always Equal_**

It was probably around two in the morning before we finally made it back to _Diana's Delights_. Cassandra found herself with a new roommate, Sera, and from the room Ellana and I were sharing we could hear her laughing loudly every now and then. "Cassandra is loosing her mind right now I'm telling you," Ellana said to me conspiratorially, "she loves her sleep and despises anything that fucks with it."

We were both in our night clothes tucked into our shared bed. Alpha was curled at my feet and Ellana was so tiny and I had lost much weight that we had plenty of room for us all. She turned on her side so that she could face me in the dark as her bright eyea sought mine out, "Sooooo what's up with you and Solas?" I hoped I sounded as innocent as possible when I responded with, "I don't know what you mean."

"Oh please cut the bullshit out with me Fallen. You're closer to me in such a short amount of time than most of my clan mates back home. I ask because I care and your happiness is important to me," she stated honestly. My eyes watered a bit in the dark and I hoped her sharp elven eyes wouldn't pick that up. Her kindness though was what did it and I was thankful for her friendship. "I care for you too Ellana. I have not had a friend in a long time. Nothing has happened between Solas and I. This is simply a silly attraction that I have for him that you are picking up on. I'm not his type at all," I said with vulnerability.

"What do you mean by _type_?" Ellana asked curiously. "Honestly, I mean like you. Beautiful and obviously elven," I replied softly. Ellana was silent for a long minute and I began to wonder if she had dozed off. I was ready to roll over when she spoke again, "You really don't see how he looks at you do you? It's really quite romantic and fiery at the same time. I don't think he cares one lick that you have human blood. He wants you lethallan, and you want him." I wished I could share with her his identity so that she would understand how wrong she was.

"That's just it Ell. It's all lust if anything at all. We could never actually have anything," I assured her. "And why in the creators not?" she countered. "I suppose for some of the same reasons you and the commander can't," I threw back at her. "Well we aren't talking about Cullen and I," she debated with me.

"He and I are a bad idea and that's all there is to it," I said with a finality that I didn't really know I could support. Ellana sighed heavily, "Fine, whatever helps you sleep tonight, and you probably should. Tomorrow you and I are attending this party that the furry woman is throwing." My heart started racing and I wondered if she could hear it, "Just the two of us? Do the others know this yet?" She giggled mischievously, "Nope!"

*

"This is _not_ a good idea," I said with as much authority as I dared to throw into the Dalish woman's face. Cassandra was sitting next to me at our table and she spoke up quickly, "I agree with Solas. You two would be unprotected and we would be unable to help if needed. We should treat this as a probable trap." Fallen fidgeted in her seat across the table, "Not to mention, I am a mage. If a noble or attending templar got a whiff of that there would be disaster on the spot."

I was pleased to see that she understood the danger involved and had some self-preservation instincts. "Give yourself some credit Fallen, and ya know me too," the Herald said nonchalantly as she took another bite of her eggs. Fallen's brown eyes met mine across the table and I could see the apology resting there. "Fine," Cassandra stated in defeat, "but please be careful. Also, you two cannot attend any event of this magnitude in your adventuring armor."

Fallen choked on her drink and the Herald look unsettled as well. "Well what do shems... I mean _humans_... wear to these sorts of things," the redhead asked with distress. "Nothing either of us will want to wear," Fallen mumbled dejectedly. The seeker eyed them both reproachfully, "You must look presentable. Trust me when I say I am not fond of a dress either, but for this you should both concede to propriety."

The Herald laughed loudly at her words and banged her unmarked hand on the wooden table top. "I think my Dalish nature and obvious elven heritage ruled _propriety_ out a long time ago," she said sarcastically. "It wouldn't kill either of you to try," the seeker rebuttaled. "Cassandra is right," I added helpfully, "Although, perhaps you could help them pick their attire today Cassandra. You are nobility yourself so you have the knowledge."

The dwarf loved this new direction and was fast to show support, "Of course! Plus, you are a woman of battle. You could show them how to hide some weapons under their skirts and whatnot." She looked overly annoyed at these suggestions, but the seeker nodded in agreement. "Is there anywhere for me to hide Alpha?" Fallen asked. "Don't be ridiculous Fallen. That beast stays here," the Herald replied viciously.

I reached across the table to cover Fallen's small hand with my own larger one, "Do not worry ma da'len, I will care for her." I felt bright green eyes on us and a dwarf mentally taking notes for an unwarranted story and removed my hand from hers slowly. I was not embarrassed to be exact, but it was odd knowing that the other elf understood my endearing words and the elven infliction.

I would worry about them both being out that night. Ellana for having my mark and being the only hope for closing the breach, and Fallen because of well... so much as of late. That being addressed, I could used my available time to catch up with my agents and make sure that I had enough in place tonight at the party. They would be able to relay all the events to me magically before the women even arrived back, and they could offer an extra set of protection for them. I also intended to see if I could find anything on Wisdom while they were out shopping. I was beginning to become very worried for my spirit friend. She had been with me since before the rebellion offering guidance and I desired her input on recent events greatly.

*

How I let the elf talk me into the task of dress shopping I wasn't sure. Granted the Herald and the traveler were nothing like the ladies in any court, but I still hated the whole affair. We had finally located a shop that claimed it had dresses for elven figures on the sign which Ellana surely needed.

The dressmaker and keeper of the shop was an older elven woman who was beside herself to help us when she realized who Ellana was. She had gushed over Ellana enthusiastically and proclaimed that Fallen was stunning. She had started on a rant about how dark and mysterious my eyes were when I hastily informed her that I was _not_ to be fitted. She had appeared put out, but she went to work nonetheless.

The woman had been in the backroom with the two women for almost an hour after my instruction of what was needed. I was begining to loose my patience when the dressmaker appeared from the back looking pleased with herself. "I think you will find them both adequately attired my lady," she stated while ushering me back with her.

Ellana and Fallen were waiting and looking equally nervous. Ellana's gown was a deep purple that did wonders for her fiery coloring. It was an elven cut and tailored qith a gossamer texture. It left the tops of the shoulders exposed as well. She had on a matching pair of leggings underneath the skirt as the slits on the sides came up ridiculously high. A black pair of leather foot wraps that the elves preferred graced her small feet. There were silver and green leaf patterns around the neck, shoulders, and wrists. All in all, she looked exotic.

Fallen was in a dress matching in gossamer texture, but it was a deep forrest green. Her shoulders were exposed as well, but her dress had a more human inspired square bustline that gave her larger breats a flattering showcase. Her dress was also cinched at the waist giving her dress an accent on her figure that Ellana's didn't have. There was a gold leafy print around the wrists, shoulders, and cinched waist that added a tiny elven flair. Many men would find her tempting that night, and I knew that Solas would be included in that numbering.

The dressmaker was clearly pleased by my facial reaction because she encouraged my approval. "They will look the part tonight my lady! We have decided against masks as it would be better if everyone knows the face of the Herald of Andraste. Also, the dresses both offer protection which the Herald said was important. Her dress alone can hide roughly twenty daggers depending on their size and length, and her friend's is enchanted to surpress others from sensing her magic," she assured me to my shock at her last words. "You told her?" I asked Fallen accusingly. The woman shook her head in defiance, "I didn't have to tell her anything!"

The only way the elf would have been able to sense Fallen's magic was if she was trained as a seeker or templar or if she was a mage herself. The woman was looking on resiliently silent and I took that as my permission. I reached out with my aura, as a seeker is trained to do, to scan the area for magic. Fallen physically shuddered as I passed over her and the dressmaker's eye twitched at her own scan, but I sensed nothing from either of them.

"It works," I told Fallen and she sighed in relief. The dressmake patted her shoulder reassuringly, "See, I told you da'len. The enchantment works." I eyed her critically, "Do you use it yourself?" The woman's look turned from pride in her work to fear almost instantly. Ellana moved in quickly to sooth the situation, "You have no need to fear us. We shall keep your secrete as you have promised to keep my friends. Won't we Cassandra?" She and Fallen were looking at me determinedly as if daring me to disagree, "I suppose not Herald. It will take all sorts before this is all over I fear."

All three women visibly relaxed at my words, and not for the first time in my life I was pissed that seekers and templars were so feared. The will of the Maker was for magic to serve man. Our purpose was to make sure that happened and innocent lives were not destroyed because of magic. My mind flashed to the Lord Seeker's display the previous day and I honestly could understand. The bad and ugly often get more attention than the good and pretty.

We paid the woman for her service and began making our way back to _Diana's Delights_. We all seemed to be lost in our own thoughts and I was personally replaying the Lord Seeker's words and actions over and over in my head. "The sum isn't always equal to all it's parts," Falled said softly. Ellana and I both looked at her oddly and the mage smiled weakly.

"A single blood mage doesn't define _all_ mages. A thieving elf doesn't define _all_ elves. A cruel racist human doesn't define _all_ humans," she explained softly. "The few doesn't get to speak for the many if you refuse to allow them, but that is a personal choice. All we can do every day is try to change minds and hearts with deeds and actions. That can sometimes be hard, but if we never stop trying then we are already ahead," she continued. She passed both Ellana and I and left our minds reeling in her wake. As I followed behind the woman, I felt my approval for her raise consideably. She saw more than she let on that's for sure.

*

I had to admit that I _loved_ my new dress. Since arriving in Thedas, I hadn't had a moment to feel pretty and the dress gave me that power. It also relieved me to know it would help hide my magic. Vivienne was a mage of course, but her status and mine in the city were two very different things.

When we arrived back at the tavern, Solas was gone and had taken Alpha with him according to Varric who was sitting by the fireplace writing. Cassandra went to work with preparations for the night. She corned Stefan and had the man direct his servants to assist us. A bath was placed in our room for us to share and we both found that enjoyable.

It was quite large and I felt bad for the servants who had transported it. The bath was big enough for two and Ellana showed me two fire runes on the bottom that when double tapped would keep the water warm. She looked at me strangely as if I should've known that, but luckily didn't comment. We ended up bathing together like small children and helping to wash and detangle each other's hair.

The servants had brought up what would pass for makeup back home and quickly went to work on our faces once we were clean. Ellana's Dalish heritage gave her a vast knowledge of braids and braided hairstyles. In no time, she had her gorgeous red hair up in multiple braids on the top of her head. It suited her and showed off her delicate ears and petite neck and shoulders. When the servant was done with my face, she was shooed off by Ellana who began attacking my hair.

When she deemed me done, she moved us so that we could see ourselves in the small vanity. Ellana had braided my hair up in a small crown around my head and placed the rest into a braid that rested between my shoulders. She had purposely left some curls down on either side of my face. It was extremely flattering. My makeup was light on my face, but the dark coal around my eyes really accented their large almond shape and color. Also, the token of the packmaster rested on my chest as well and worked well with my dress.

Ellana was smiling broadly and I realized that I was simply sitting there with my mouth hanging wide open. "We look damn good lethallan," she said wickedly as she patted her dress down making sure that all her daggers were hidden. Once she was seemingly satisfied, she grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet. "Let's go get Cassandra's approval and then head down to the market to catch our carriage," she prompted.

Cassandra had explained to us that horses were not allowed in the city of course so anybody who was anybody relied on the carriage system the city provided. Of course there was a fee for it and all the money earned went to the city and most of the time that meant the Chantry. I glanced out the small window in our room and realized that the sun was lower in the sky. I didn't think it had taken us that long to get ready. The day had gone by so fast.

When we stepped into the tavern's common area a shocked silence descended. I felt at least a dozen men's eyes on us and probably a few women's as well. A whistle came from by the fire and a familiar accented voice called out, "Oi, ya both look like yummy tarts ya!" I hadn't seen Sera since her recruitment, but she clearly felt familiar enough with everyone... or that might just be Sera.

Cassandra, Varric, and Solas were at her table and as we made our way to them chatter resumed, but I still felt eyes following us. My cheeks were burning from Sera's words and the prying eyes. Cassandra circled us like a hawk and nodded in a final approval, "It'll work, but please both of you use reason, common sense, and be safe."

My eyes were drawn to Solas as he rose from his spot and approached us. I saw his eyes travel down my body and back up again with little shame as he got closer and my insides shuddered involuntarily. "It is odd not being able to sense you, but I am glad you have the extra protection tonight," he said in a lowered voice that only I could catch and probably Ellana and any other elf nearby. "Where's Alpha?" I asked. "In my room. I will keep her there tonight," he promised.

"Ma serannas Solas," I told him. He seemed to hesitate for a second and then he boldy stepped closer to me. He was inches from me and I could smell his intoxicating and familiar scent when he leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on my forehead. My hand involuntarily grabbed onto the front of his tunic in an unexplained need to touch him in return. "Please be safe ma da'len," he whispered to me pleadingly. His eyes searched mine and I wanted him to devour me in that heated moment. Instead, I swallowed nervously and gave him a single small nod.

"We will be fine Solas, and I will make sure that she returns to you," Ellana said calmly. I expected him to deny any kind of claim over me, but instead he eyed her intently before responding. "See that you _both_ return," and with that he turned to make his way back to his seat. I felt cold all over once he moved away and I tried to look everywhere but him.

As Ellana and I made our exit with Cassadra as our chaperone to the carriage, I felt eyes on us as before, but it felt different somehow. I realized that several people were now looking at me with open disgust instead of attraction or desire. Stefan was behind his bar and he shook his head when my eyes met his. I didn't get it and I was unsure if looks of desire or disgust felt worse.

As we made our way down to the market, it hit me. The only change had been Solas' interaction with me. They had seen an elven man share an intimate moment with a human woman and that disgusted them. Angry tears began to well up when Cassandra's voice spoke to me, "The sum isn't always equal to all it's parts." I laughed at her giving me my own advice back to me as our carriage finally pulled up. I surprised the stoic seeker by throwing my arms around her neck for a quick hug, "Thanks for the reminder Cass."

 **Translations**

 **Lethallan : **someone with whom one is familiar

 **Shem : **short for 'shemlen'

 **Ma Falon : **my friend

 **Da'len : **little one or little child

 **Ma Serannas : **my thanks

 **Ma Da'len : **my little one

 **Resource**

 _http/dragonage./wiki/Elven_language_


End file.
